These are the questions that I ask myself repeatedly. When I started this “weight loss” journey, I have to be honest it was for that sole purpose…. Weight loss. Sure I wanted to reap other benefits but that was my main goal. Along the way I realized I want to do this for my son, and not just because when he gets older I don’t want him embarrassed but I want to know that I did my job. I want to do a good job by introducing him to a healthy lifestyle. I’m also doing this so I can say adios to cancer and headaches for good. Before I got diagnosed back in 2005 I was pretty fit and I liked my body for the most part, but once I started going through the crap I gave up, and I felt lost. I started putting myself down, always cracking a joke about my weight (before someone else could), never really wanting to get out….. just sitting in my misery. I was killing myself before cancer could, that’s when I realized that I have to stay on my toes, while I’m down on my knees in prayer. I can’t defeat myself. It’s so easy to pick ourselves apart, and let the opinions of others drag us down…… but you know what, this girl has had enough.
I had a friend of mine at work the other day ask me to list the things that I am proud of… so Shelley this is for you:
- I feel victorious when I go to the grocery store and I make smart, healthy choices and I see the toothpick girls looking at my buggy thinking twice about their options…. Score!
- I like to exercise and I have been really good about getting off my butt and doing what I got to do.
- I say NO all day long to temptations (we love Wendy, but she has a spread of chocolate goodness on her desk)
- Prepare, prepare, prepare…… I am learning to set myself up for success and making sure I have the right tools to get the results that I want!
- And I am getting way better and trusting the process and not beating myself up for where I am currently at….. I’m getting there, and I am fabulous now!
I think the next thing I need to focus on or not be so focused on, is the Time that it is going to take. I have been better at not getting discouraged with the weight not falling off over night. Matter of fact I use to focus on every day…. Meaning two more days till rest day, one more week till a new month. Now I’m like, “wow I went 24 days straight exercising every day”, or “I haven’t cheated on my diet in over 2 months”.
I really feel if I wouldn’t have let myself get so discouraged in the past and would have put forth a real effort I would have already been at my goal weight, but I’m doing that now. So in a year I won’t be talking about the weight I’m losing I will be talking about all the adventures that I am having…. And that helps me keep my focus.
So now that I got some of my emotions out let me catch you up on the week that I am having. I have been on point with my diet and exercise. I have been preparing healthy meals all week long and trying some new recipes, and for the most part all have been a success. The only one that wasn’t for me were these babies here….. this is an egg pesto pin wheel. I’m picky about my egg, and cold egg wrap just not the one for me. The pesto mixture was good, but too much for breakfast…. It would be good in a pasta dish though.
So for lunch I have been eating my veggies and finding anything to put Sabra, Supremely Spicy Hummus on…. This is the BEST store bought hummus I have ever found. So I have been pairing it up with turkey breast, feta cheese, fresh organic spinach on a wheat tortilla…. The best part is it is quick to make!!! Gotta love a lunch that taste great and you don’t have to take a ton of time to make. Another thing that I finally tried was a Green Monster….. and the verdict, I’m addicted! I make one every morning now. I have to say I was a little skeptic when I saw a recipe that told me to steam the spinach first…..the whole time I was making it I was thinking….. “this cannot be good, I’m suppose to drink this?”
So my exercise has been going well. I really feel like I am finally in a zone and when I’m through with a workout I feel like I did my best. The other night the whole family went for a walk and a neighbor spoke to us and made a comment that she can tell that I am losing weight….. isn’t that what every girl wants to hear?