Thursday, September 16, 2010

All smiles

First I want to thank you all for your support this week while I was battling problems with my head (I mean headaches, I battle with me head in general on a daily (= …. that will be an ongoing mission.

Yesterday was long and tiring! I really do hate going to the doctors, but at least it is over and done with. Before going to my doctor I got up and took the boys for a 2mile walk. Dropped them off and did a 2 mile run! For my cool down I hopped on my bike and rode around in my neighborhood. When I got home I was a puddle of mess, but I felt so alive. There is something so therapeutic for me when it comes to running. My husband asked me last night why do I think that all of a sudden that I enjoy it so much. It was a good question because in my thinner, healthier days I didn’t even try to run. It was the last thing that I wanted to do, but now that’s all I can think about. If a year ago when I was at 247lbs if someone would have told me that I would begin to enjoy running, I would have laughed and said, “um, you have to be able to run to enjoy it “. At that time I felt so without hope, walking from my car to my building at work was workout enough. Now, I know I have only been running for a month and a half, but every run I see real progress. My breathing, pace, distance, and more importantly my desire is improving. When my husband asked me that question last night I kind of chuckled at him and said “Well because when I’m running I feel like I’m going to fall over dead from exhaustion, but I don’t! That makes me happy.” But then I explained it’s more than that. It’s because I can! Yeah maybe I can’t go as far or as fast as I would like, but I know I will. I was told back in ’05 that I wouldn’t even be alive, and my body has gone through so much, but God gives me the strength to still improve myself, to keep fighting. It’s amazing to see what we can accomplish if we just try. Yeah it may have to be at baby steps, but we all start somewhere. There is something so freeing when I’m out there getting all my worries and stress out on the pavement. A good friend of mine here at work that I admire told me that running is mostly mental and only a small percentage physical. What he meant was there isn’t a lot to what your body has to do, it’s not like learning some line dance that requires coordination and memorizing a bunch of steps. It’s all in your mind. You have to stay focused on your breathing and pace, and keep pushing through whatever discomfort you are feeling. Yesterday in my run I wanted to really push it, I just basically let go of any other thoughts and just went for it. I can’t even describe with words what it felt like, it was as if I could literally feel things melt away from me. All of my concerns and nerves about my upcoming doctor’s appointment seemed so distant. I didn’t want to stop and didn’t have some impulse or leg cramp that forced me too. I came home feeling so encourage, and for once I didn’t feel like I was hopeless.

I also wanted to share this with you all. I was excited when it arrived on Monday. I got to add a new edition to my workout room. It was missing something when you first walk into the room facing the equipment, and now I feel like it’s complete and it totally puts a smile on my face as I am approaching my treadmill or spinning bike. Now I just want to get some new blinds eventually for the room (though, I will wait till they go on sale), and if I can find a small wine fridge on sale I might put that in there too..... you know a place for my WATER, gosh! As tempting as it may sound I don't think with my coordination, wine so near a treadmill would be smart, make a funny Youtube video but not smart (=

Hope you all are having a fantastic end to your week and are looking forward to tomorrow being Friday as I am!!!!

1 comment:

  1. Yay for the runner's high! I think that's the only thing that keeps me going.

    Thanks for checking on me on my blog! It comes and it goes. My sister researched it and she thinks we have salmonella poisoning. =/ Should be cleared it up in another couple of days or so. In the meanwhile...just trying to get the liquids down so I can handle my 8 miler tomorrow. It should be interesting!

    You are so good about your workouts - total motivator!!! =)