Melting Candy

Is it Friday yet?

2011-07-08T08:26:00.000-07:00

The past two weeks or so I have not really been able to follow my normal eating plan due to feeling very ill and not holding food down or in some cases “in” (yeah, I know TMI but I have felt so bad I don’t care). Not sure what was going on, seems too long to be a stomach virus and no I don’t have a bun in the oven. Whatever it is I have my bad days and good ones too. For the most part just eating really bland and mostly liquids. Despite not feeling so great I have had a few days I got some exercise in. Nothing really adventurous but something is better than nothing, right?
On the fourth my aunt invited us over to where she was house sitting so we got a chance to see our little buga swim. We had a really good time. I love being in the water, but I forgot how tired I feel after wards. Me and my boys got a good nap that day (=

Nothing else new is really going on. The only thing of importance is today at work (which for you that are not aware I work for NASA under a contract at Johnson Space Center) is the last shuttle mission. We are currently awaiting the launch of Space Shuttle Atlantis. It’s one of those times you feel sad yet proud all at the same time!

Rain/Run/Finding Me

2011-06-22T13:01:00.000-07:00

Yay….. we finally got some rain in the Houston area today. It is about time!!!!!! My plants must be so happy(=

I got up early enough this morning (4:45 a.m.) to ride my bike and walk with a good friend of mine. We had a good time and got a pretty good workout in. Today I took it a little easier since yesterday I REALLY pushed myself. Even though I live in Texas and it stays pretty dang hot, I prefer to be outdoors to workout. I use my spinning bike & treadmill several days a week but I never feel that I am getting the same amount of a workout in. Yesterday I got up, got dressed, stretched and planned on just walking but I felt so strong that I decided to run. I did 3 minutes of running with 1 minute walk intervals for 55 minutes. Afterwards I felt so incredible, nothing beats that feeling of pushing your body, hell your mind to do better. My friends and even my husband always tell me “you don’t have to push yourself, you just have to move”, and trust me I get what they are saying and I would never push myself where I would risk injury but I also don’t want to half-ass it either. When it comes to fitness I am an ALL or nothing kind of girl. When I wasn’t taking care of myself and felt sorry for myself because I was told that the cancer would kill me…… I got depressed and ate what I wanted and decided not to move. So now this is “ME” time……. I want to KNOW after I complete a workout that I gave it my all and that I’m one day closer to my goals. Plus sweating is the new Sexy right?

A Great Week

2011-06-20T15:36:00.000-07:00

I could not have dreamed for a better week than the one I had last week. It’s no secret that I have dropped off the band wagon a time or two or three. I enjoy eating healthy for the most part but I do have a hard time in social settings or like yesterday when I was eating a fairly bland dinner that I wasn’t really excited about and my husband ate a grilled rib-eye steak, fully loaded baked potato, grilled corn and sautéed onions in front of me. Now don’t get me wrong I usually don’t mind and don’t expect my family to eat the same as myself but man it smelt so good! I really had a moment I wanted to tackle my husband and run with his plate like a wild dog. I ate my steamed veggies but then I just wanted to stab my husband with my fork for being blessed with a great metabolism and for never gaining weight. Do not worry know one was hurt during the consumption of dinner. Luckily the moment past and I finished my meal without cheating or acting out of impulse. I think having one moment out of the week and not acting on it is pretty awesome.

My eating plan has been so easy! That’s right I said easy. I have been following the “Reshape the Nation” fitness plan and using the “STAX” system. Now the meals are simple, simple….. not a lot going on with them but with my busy schedule it is a bonus. The containers are color coordinated to separate the carbs, proteins and veggies. Instead of counting calories or measuring servings the traditional way each container is labeled with weights, so you fill the food to your weight. This week I have lost 6 pounds and have never felt better.

I am full of energy and my workouts are proof of that. Every day last week I got up at 4:45 a.m. and looked forward to my workout. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I did jog/walk intervals. Tuesday and Thursday went for 12 mile bike ride and in the evening lifted weights.

This week I plan on sticking to my eating plan and push, push myself during my workouts! For the first time I really do believe I can do this. I have no choice, I need to do this.

I'm getting out of the 200s

2011-06-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

For what...... the past year and half now I keep playing with 55lbs. Seriously I have gotten to about 5 lbs to go to my goal and then just something would derail me and I throw my hands up (mostly to my mouth with a piece of pizza) and just hurt myself more. I have all the right tools and the know how on what to do. Hell I'm one of those freaks that loves to exercise and sweat even in this Houston heat, so why do I let others and a few obstacles just ruin all my efforts.

I know I have been so hard on myself. No matter my size I have never felt beautiful, smart, talented or just worthy of anything good. I want that for others and I encourage it in others but why not myself? Instead I defeat myself with my own words.

The fact is in order for me to feel better I need to make the time for exercise & healthy eating. I'm happier and feel better about myself when I do. I currently am weighing 226lbs and within three months I want to be at 200lbs. I need to prove to myself that I can do this and that I am worthy of change.

I have even a bigger goal

2011-04-25T13:17:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone. First, let me start by saying I should be able to commit to writing a post on more of a regular basis now. Instead of trying to post every day I think I will stick to at least two days a week, that way I don't get burned out.

I have been doing pretty well. Had a few slips but I am getting closer and closer to being under 200 lbs again, I am so freaking excitied. I have been following the Weight Watchers plan on-line and have been using my Body Bugg to help calculate the calories I am burning.

Another thing has happened to up my modivation. One of my closest friends is getting married in October (which we are more than happy to celebrate with because she found herself a Great Guy!! They make such a great couple), and they asked me to be a bridesmaid. Now I know she does not care about my weight but I do. I at least want to feel comfortable in the dress and make an effort to look the best as I can in it. So I have 6 months to work it out but I think that is plenty of time to do some damage (=

Weigh In Mondays

2011-02-07T18:45:00.000-08:00

I have always liked making my weigh day on Mondays, mostly because it keeps me more in check for the weekends but also it's a good way to start fresh every week.

I lost a total of 4.6 lbs for my first week back on my routine. I was so excited this morning it was just the confirmation that I needed that hard work does pay-off.

I'm easing my way back into my workouts,but so far I'm feeling strong. I am really going to have to work to get back where I was a few months ago but I know that I can get there once again because I have already accomplished it before.

So onto to other news...... lets talk about what I am eating. I have never had a problem with eating veggies and even some fruit but I have a hard time with eating meat and laying off the carbs.

I realized long ago that I need carbs, but just the right amount and they have to be complex carbs. My favorite are sweet potatoes (well any type of potato will do but I have a tendency to drowned a regular spud with a half of tub of butter and cheese so I stay where I can be safe)

I know my trigger foods and at the risk of sounding like a cheesey cartoon.... knowing is half the battle. It really helps for me to identify where my week points are. I know how to eat in moderation so for these few items I have to plan it out and buy a small quanity or they don't come into the house.

I feel proud when we prepare a healthy well balanced meal, and I notice when we do we also create other good habits like eating at the table and not in front of the tv. We also clean the kitchen up together right after dinner........... I love that one.

Well every one I hope you had a great start to your week too!!!!!

Restarting

2011-02-05T20:02:00.000-08:00

It has been several months since I have a last posted. I had some medical problems but am feeling much stronger and ready to get back into the swing of things. I must say the past few months have been very difficult for me and I got very depressed that I could not exercise.

When I go through these times I need to reach out to you guys more than ever. I think I shut down on everything because I'm so tired of cancer trying to rule my life. This past time I really just gave up. I accepted the bad reports from my doctors and let the pain rule me. In turn I hurt myself worse by not caring what food I shoved in my face because I felt helpless.

So as a good friend of mine stated, it's time to restart. In my line of work (IT support) the first thing I ask my customers is, "have you resarted?" Sometimes it's best just to start from the begining, and that is what I plan to do.

Yesterday I did the following:

BREAKFAST:
(2) Egg whites
grapes and slice banana
water

Lunch:
turkey sausage with whole grain pasta and peas
water

Dinner:
lean turkey breast on whole wheat bread and cherry tomatoes
water

Well thats it for now. Hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend!

Sticking to the Plan

2010-10-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a pretty successful day by the end of it. The plan was to eat dinner at a certain time and then hit the pavement for my run before it got dark but unfortunately it did not work out that way. My husband was late getting off from work, dinner wasn’t coming out the way that that I hope it would (new recipe) and I had a mess in the garage to clean up that one of the dogs had made.

Once my husband came home we had dinner, cleaned up, and I was already dressed to work out and my mind was set on it, so that’s what I did! I had a little bit of day light left so I went for a two mile run. By the time I got home it was DARK, but I still wanted to take my dogs for their walk so I got to try out these new lights I had bought a couple of weeks back. They are so cool. It’s a strip that lays flat on their collar, that has Velcro loops. You can have them blink or non-blinking but either way they put off good light. So with their blinking collars and me with a small LED flashlight, I knew we would be seen by cars (Safety First People!!!!). We ended up going for a 3 mile walk, and let me tell you when we got back I felt so good! It was so nice outside and not too many cars. The only thing I noticed was it appears that other people tend to let their own dogs loose at night to hang out with them I guess on the porch without any restraints so we had a few times were a random dog would come up to us. My boys are very social but they are pretty big so I worry when someone’s little dog comes up…. I mean Hello…. Chew toy!! But we made it home safe and sound and I am so glad that I stuck to my plan.

Time for Recap of meals

Egg white scramble with lean breakfast ham and organic spinach
(1) Garlic hummus with slices of cucumber and bell peppers
(1) turkey taco- ground turkey, low fat cheese in a lettuce wrap
(1) serving of turkey pepperoni, slice tomatoes and steamed edamame
(4) small Turkey meatballs with (1) cup steamed organic spinach

Hope everyone has a great end to your week, and ready to step it up even more next week!

Feel the Burn

2010-10-13T10:18:00.001-07:00

As I posted yesterday, today was the first day of adding weight training to my schedule. It has been sooooo long since I have done this. In the past few months I have used a few hand weights at home and some machines but didn't really focus on a routine. After this morning I realized what I have been missing. I was lucky several years ago (and 95lbs thinner) a group of ladies through me into their rotation, sadly I forgotten the routines, and ever since have been hesitant to get back into it. A friend of mine at work had a trainer that had worked with her on establishing a routine so this morning we met at the gym and after a 30minute cardio we hit the free weights!

I thoroughly enjoyed myself. My friend helped me focus on my form, breathing and demonstrated when ever I needed the help. After an hour and a half of working our arms and chest, with squat intervals we called it quits. Now going half way through the day I feel that nice, little burn. You know what I'm talking about. It's not sore or uncomfortable but my body is just letting me know that it did it's thing this morning!!!

Time for Recap of meals yesterday

(1) whole grain waffle with Organic natural peanut butter and 4 slices of Turkey bacon
(1) cup of mixed fruit with a Kashi Go Lean cereal sprinkled on top
(1/2) cup of tuna pasta salad - whole grain pasta, steamed organic asparagus, steamed organic carrots
(1) serving of Fage Greek Yogurt
(1) Turkey taco - ground turkey, black beans, low fat cheese in a lettuce wrap

Guess what?!?!? I was able to eat before 6:30 pm, so that way my belly was not full before bedtime! (very happy about being able to do this)

Tomorrow is my cardio day so will let you know how it goes!

Time to Mix it up

2010-10-12T08:47:00.001-07:00

For the past three months I have been very diligent at eating 1600 calories a day and at least doing an hour of cardio for 3-4 days a week. I have lost a total of 23 lbs (within 3 months) with doing this (a grand total of 41lbs) and am so close to being under 200 lbs, I am fighting the urge from doing the happy dance as I write this.

Though I am currently at a new challenge. In the past two weeks I have either stayed the same or actually gained a couple of pounds on weigh day. I had a few moments that looked all too familiar from my past attempts. This is usually when I would throw in the towel, and eat anything I want and sit in front of the couch and feel sorry for myself and be pissed at the scale, and.... myself! I had to fight these feeling all last week and had to walk completely out of kitchen when I had the door to my freezer open staring at a gallon of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream.

Instead of throwing all of my accomplishments out the window from the past few months I wrote a list. Kind of like a pro and con list of how I have been feeling emotionally, spiritually and physically since I have been on this plan. I wasn't really surprised that the Pros out did the Cons (by a landslide). By reviewing the Cons I realized a lot about myself and were my frustrations are, and were I tend to get bored. I reviewed my eating journal the weeks that I didn't get the results that I was looking for. One thing I noticed I have been more relaxed on writing down what I am eating and my activities. I know I am still making the right choices but for me, writing it all down helps me keep on track and keeps me accountable. Another thing that I quit doing was taking pictures and writing down what I am eating on here.

So the areas that I need to improve and others things that I am adding to my routine are:

writing in my food/activity journal everyday
posting a few pictures of my meals on my blog
MOVE everyday (even if it is just a quick walk with my pups or taking my son to the park. I need to move a little bit everyday)
Starting tomorrow I will begin weight lifting 3 days a week (I am very excited about this one)
jog/run five days a week. (I plan on doing intervals, to further increase my distance and continue working on my breathing)
no carbohydrates in the evening (trying to eat carbs earlier in the day)
eating 5 small meals a day
no eating past 6:30 p.m. (this one will be the hardest of all because of our work schedule)

I'm very excited about several of these changes and am looking forward to seeing some new progress. Hope you all are having a great week!

Not with it this week

2010-10-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

This has been a crazy hectic week with very little sleep. Ever have one of those days where you feel like it's never going to end? ......... well that is how I have felt for five days now.

It hasn't all been bad, our wedding anniversary was this Wednesday, and since my husband had to have his wisdom teeth out this week we celebrated Saturday. My husband took me to the Melting Pot - it's a delicious Fondue restaurant. I'll tell you I can really tell that I have learned moderation because I was only able to eat very small portions. Still felt like I over ate but not nearly what I use to pack away.

Since this week has been off on my sleep and eating at my regular times, my exercise has been very difficult. I have forced myself to do something every day but it hasn't given me that extra boost of energy I usually get. Yesterday my work had a "Safety & Health" day. They usually declare it as a "stand down day" meaning no work needs to be done so we can go and enjoy the booths and get educated on safety and health. I spent four hours walking our campus and seeing what is out there, and I even got to join in on some Zumba fun (been wanting to see what it is all about, I really want to go check it out now at my gym). They ended the day with 5Krun/2mile walk. My good friend Mike had asked me last week if I wanted to run it together for fun and I said sure. Though when it was time for it I felt more nervous than my previous run and kept feeling defeated before we even started. I will tell you sadly now I did not push through the pain. I have been having problems in my left foot. Don't know what’s going, but my left heel has been getting worse since last November. For some reason my breathing was all off and I could not get in that place in my mind where I can push all other thoughts out. Every time I stepped down on my left foot I just lost my breath. I got very discouraged with myself but I am very lucky that I have a good friend who supports me, so instead of running the 5k we did the two miles, and we only jogged at a steady pace till I needed to stop and regain my breath. So we did a little bit of jogging and some walking and finished the two miles in 17 minutes. Now was it what I wanted it to be, no..... but that just gives me the drive to improve (and yes Mike, go see me doctor about my foot).

When I see Mike he always gives me good advice and just tells it like it is. One thing that he said that really shed some light on things was so many people want the fast results and are only willing to put in the minimum effort. I see that all the time, I have been guilty of that myself. I'm willing to change that thinking, and work hard to do it. Will it be easy.... hell no! Will it be worth it......... Oh Yeah!!!

I did it! I ran my first 5K!!!

2010-09-30T10:11:00.000-07:00

I didn’t mention it last week to any of you because I wasn’t sure if it was going to be raining or not and, also I was a little nervous but I officially ran my first 5K this past weekend!!! It worked out perfect because the race was in our home town and my husband was able to do the event with me. The night before we received our packets and our shirts. Now when signing up for the race I thought we were just going to be getting regular t-shirts but we received really nice dry-fit running shirts. I had asked for an X-Large, but when looking through our goodies I realized I got a Women’s X- large and just by looking at it I knew what the results would be. Now the shirt did fit, but it was a little too snug for comfort to be running in. I didn’t want to be self conscious the hole dang run pulling down on my shirt. I don’t know why I let it bother me but it did. For a moment I felt discouraged, and starting letting my mind go wild with thoughts that I would be the fattest girl out there running, and the only one who can’t wear the shirt… I let this get to me till I made my stomach ache. Finally I said screw it, this is what it’s all about…. I have to learn to push those thoughts of doubt out of my mind and move forward.

So the next morning I woke up early so I could get a breakfast, bath and time to get my nerves out of my system. I kept feeling ridiculous because I was a combo of anxious and nerves. On one hand I was excited but on the other I didn’t know what to expect.

When we got there for the most part everyone was already lined up and ready to go. My husband moved us to the end of line to be polite so we didn’t cut in front of anyone, and then we were off….. well everyone was moving but were at the very end. Once we got on the road and everyone started getting set in their pace we started trying to pass all the walkers. I was a little frustrated at first because some people just would not let us through, so it made it a little difficult to pass them. It was about a mile and half in that we finally got passed all the walkers. I then started to focus on my stride and just enjoy it. It was a beautiful day out and I was getting the opportunity to accomplish so much at just one time. Here I was running my first 5K and getting over my fear of being red faced and sweaty in public! And you know what I loved it!

My husband was amazing through the whole thing. He could have left me but he stayed by my side. At one point we were in direct sun, and it made it really hard to see so he got just ahead of me to block it and reached over and held my hand for just a brief second. He never said a word, but it was so comforting to know that I have that kind of support. We had a pretty easy layout to run, you know we live Texas pretty much everything is flat, and I know these roads…. I drive them every day, so I knew there were no surprises……but wow I forgot about this tiny little bridge. I mean it isn’t anything, but as we started to approach it in our third mile I started slowing up. My hubby went into coaching mode and told me I couldn’t stop till I reach the top of it. He kept saying to me not to slow down, just to keep going. Well once we got on it I kept going. Going down was the best part, not only was it easier, but I saw the finish line! Finishing at 40minutes and 17 seconds I felt so pumped, that I did it. No passing out, no cramps, no crying, I pushed myself to a new place and am now just excited to see what other first I can accomplish!!!

Baby Got Gap

2010-09-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

And I’m not talking about in between my teeth people! I’m talking about at the back on my jeans. Well really they are big all over. If it was back in the 90’s I would be in style because my crotch is sagging to my knees. I am officially out of a size 18 and even some on my 16s are too loose. Though I can fit in some 14s, not quite there yet…. very unflattering, but I’m on my way. I love being able to see progress in other areas other than just the scale.

Another area I see improvement is my endurance and ability to complete activities. I will hopefully be sharing some good news with all of you on how I plan on testing that this weekend.

Yesterday was a busy day for me. My hubby and I got up early and ran 2.5 miles. We both had to get ready for work, or we probably would have walked for a few miles too but the run in itself was a really good start to the day. It made me realize how much I miss working out in the morning. I love having that energy that last all day. I also have noticed for me if I start out making the right choices at the beginning of my day I continue to do so through-out the day.

In addition to my run yesterday, I decided to go for a bike ride in the evening. Didn’t have a destination in mind, I just wanted to get out and go. I was given this bike from a friend and it is a mountain bike, good quality and it does well on the road….. especially the roads in my town (the dang roads are so bumpy I feel like I’m on trails). The only thing is, it really is hard to find the groove and get that speed that I’m starting to really want, but last night I really pushed it. I was pushing, and sweating and just enjoying being out in the evening air. It started to get really dark on me and on my way back home I went through some areas that are really heavy with trees and not a lot of light. A few times I felt like I should slow down a bit since it was beginning to be difficult to see the road, but I was really enjoying my pace and the burn so I kept going. I was trucking along, jamming to my tunes and then suddenly there was a visitor that appeared that demanded to have the road in front of me…… he just stood there, armed and dangerous!!!!!

I found out very quickly that I have really good breaks on that bike. He was so damn close I swear he was maybe a foot or two away from me. All I can think of was “oh my, this stupid thing is going to spray me and I will never get the smell out of my hair.” Any of you that no me and my hair you know that I have some fierce lions mane and that kind of stink will just marinate up on my head. So I just stayed there perched on my bike pleading with this little guy to please keep rolling………… well apparently I was dealing with a grandpa cause he took his sweet time getting across the road. I felt like it was his way of saying “slow down, you damn youngster you are going too fast.” Well what felt like minutes of swallowing my heart beat in my throat he finally went on his way. Did I learn my lesson?………….Nooooo……. are you kidding me, I went even faster I was trying to get out of there. I ended up going a total of 8 miles on my bike, and grandpa sure did help get my heart a going!

Well everyone have a great weekend!

No Longer Going to Hide

2010-09-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

In the past two years I have stopped and started this weight loss attempt several times. One reason or another I would talk myself out of success. You know what I’m talking about out there…. I would work real hard for about a month or two and then get all pissed off because surprise I’m not at my goal weight yet. It’s not fair I’m watching what I am eating and working so hard and it feels like nothing is happening so screw it pass me the cheeseburger, with fries, and might as well throw some chili and cheese on it too… hey is that pizza?

This routine became all too familiar for me. Usually a different excuse but ended with the same results, just a variation on the menu.

It comes to a point of how bad do you want it? And then what is it they you really want? Yes, I would like to be a smaller size and I want to feel sexy in my own skin, but I want the freedom of living a healthy life. Heck I just want to live my life again. I don’t know what it is about putting on weight but it has held me captive for far too long. I use to be so outgoing and ready and willing to try new adventures but now it’s an effort for me to leave the house. We get invited by friends and family to partake in activities but I usually want to back out because I am worried at being secretly judge for the way I look. If it’s not worry about my appearance it’s my ability and the discomfort of a particular activity that discourages me. I realized about a month ago I am so conscious about my size when I walk into a room I size up the place so to speak and in my head map out the perfect route so I am careful not to bump into anything or anyone. I feel like I have been playing Hide and Seek, but haven’t begun searching for myself yet.

Well something snapped inside of me about two months ago that this cycle has to stop and day by day I am learning to love who I am no matter where I’m at on the scale. I’m not saying that I am settling and that I’m going to continue to let myself become larger but I’m no longer putting myself down for getting this way either. Instead I am letting this fuel my desire to get back to a place that I wasn’t too scared to greet the world. I now see that the enemy had used this to be a strong hold on my life and I am NO longer letting him have that position over me.

Instead, I’m using my body for what it is intended for….. to move!!!! No longer sitting in my little hole feeling sorry for myself or afraid that I may be seen by others who may laugh at me for watching me complete an activity. Instead this 212 lb girl (lost two more pounds by the way) is running, biking and now swimming in public places at any chance she gets. I learned long time ago if a person matters to you, they don’t mind. And if a person minds what you are doing, they don’t matter. I also realize that this is something I am going to have to work for. Just doing a so,so job is not going to get me the results I want. So I run all through my neighborhood with my head held high, and hope to encourage someone else. To show that one person that is driving to their comfort place to hide from the world that this can be done!

All smiles

2010-09-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

First I want to thank you all for your support this week while I was battling problems with my head (I mean headaches, I battle with me head in general on a daily (= …. that will be an ongoing mission.

Yesterday was long and tiring! I really do hate going to the doctors, but at least it is over and done with. Before going to my doctor I got up and took the boys for a 2mile walk. Dropped them off and did a 2 mile run! For my cool down I hopped on my bike and rode around in my neighborhood. When I got home I was a puddle of mess, but I felt so alive. There is something so therapeutic for me when it comes to running. My husband asked me last night why do I think that all of a sudden that I enjoy it so much. It was a good question because in my thinner, healthier days I didn’t even try to run. It was the last thing that I wanted to do, but now that’s all I can think about. If a year ago when I was at 247lbs if someone would have told me that I would begin to enjoy running, I would have laughed and said, “um, you have to be able to run to enjoy it “. At that time I felt so without hope, walking from my car to my building at work was workout enough. Now, I know I have only been running for a month and a half, but every run I see real progress. My breathing, pace, distance, and more importantly my desire is improving. When my husband asked me that question last night I kind of chuckled at him and said “Well because when I’m running I feel like I’m going to fall over dead from exhaustion, but I don’t! That makes me happy.” But then I explained it’s more than that. It’s because I can! Yeah maybe I can’t go as far or as fast as I would like, but I know I will. I was told back in ’05 that I wouldn’t even be alive, and my body has gone through so much, but God gives me the strength to still improve myself, to keep fighting. It’s amazing to see what we can accomplish if we just try. Yeah it may have to be at baby steps, but we all start somewhere. There is something so freeing when I’m out there getting all my worries and stress out on the pavement. A good friend of mine here at work that I admire told me that running is mostly mental and only a small percentage physical. What he meant was there isn’t a lot to what your body has to do, it’s not like learning some line dance that requires coordination and memorizing a bunch of steps. It’s all in your mind. You have to stay focused on your breathing and pace, and keep pushing through whatever discomfort you are feeling. Yesterday in my run I wanted to really push it, I just basically let go of any other thoughts and just went for it. I can’t even describe with words what it felt like, it was as if I could literally feel things melt away from me. All of my concerns and nerves about my upcoming doctor’s appointment seemed so distant. I didn’t want to stop and didn’t have some impulse or leg cramp that forced me too. I came home feeling so encourage, and for once I didn’t feel like I was hopeless.

I also wanted to share this with you all. I was excited when it arrived on Monday. I got to add a new edition to my workout room. It was missing something when you first walk into the room facing the equipment, and now I feel like it’s complete and it totally puts a smile on my face as I am approaching my treadmill or spinning bike. Now I just want to get some new blinds eventually for the room (though, I will wait till they go on sale), and if I can find a small wine fridge on sale I might put that in there too..... you know a place for my WATER, gosh! As tempting as it may sound I don't think with my coordination, wine so near a treadmill would be smart, make a funny Youtube video but not smart (=

Hope you all are having a fantastic end to your week and are looking forward to tomorrow being Friday as I am!!!!

Pineapple

2010-09-14T13:06:00.000-07:00

When my husband and I were planning our beach wedding, I wanted to make all of the arrangements and one of my center piece ideas came from the tops of pineapples(wow that sounds a little ghetto, but it was really pretty). All we did was buy fresh pineapple, cut the tops off and I planted them in decorative pots. We went a little over board and bought several before the wedding and not all of them made it, but a few started to get a little bigger. Than once winter time hit they got brown and I really didn’t think they would do anything, but out of curiosity we planted them in bigger pots, and they just got really big. Did a little research with help from Google and found that it takes about three years for fruit to appear.

Well our three year wedding anniversary will be next month, and now we have an early present. We have a baby pineapple. He is so stinking cute, I named him Sponge Bob (I know that the actuall Sponge Bob lives in a pineapple, but close enough). I planted him in our front flower bed right outside our door. Everything else kept dying because of the direct son just blazing down on them, but I love him here! So now it’s official I am a pineapple farmer (=

After I took some cute snap shots of my new family member (Sponge Bob), I walked thirty minutes on the treadmill. I know that is not where I have been at, and at first I felt lazy but I am still battling with a headache. I didn’t want to risk being out in this heat and having a seizure. I use to just get frustrated and think because I struggle with this from time to time, that it will always interfere when I am in a good grove. But a part of this journey is for me to learn to overcome having cancer and learn ways to fight back. So last night I stayed in and though I did not push it I did DO something, and I did it the safe way. To be honest I felt much better for it. Not only was I proud of myself for not just letting it keep me in my bed, I did it in moderation. I was able to sleep a little better than I have been and today the pain is a lot better. And after my workout we got to go cheer my brother on while he sparred in his mix martial arts class (so cool by the way). So tonight I plan on just doing a little more, but still listening to my body. I’m learning if I just do something it helps. I don’t want this to always keep me from being able to live my life.

Yesterday my appetite was back so I had a Green monster for breakfast, a Greek salad for lunch (thanks Aunt Suzanne), and a grilled chicken breast with curry, steamed spinach, and some steamed broccoli.

I have a busy day tomorrow at the doctors, so I may not be able to post but will catch up with all you later in the week!

Just a quick hello

2010-09-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone survived the weekend! I am so ready for a new week. The end of last week went downhill very quickly. Someone out there thought it would be fun to send a malicious email to our entire agency so that equaled a lot of work for us. Not complaining about helping everyone but it got crazy busy. I'm not sure if it what the stress of the situation but come Friday I got a terrible headache that lasted through the weekend. I am very thankful that I do not get them as often as I use to, but when I do I still find it a little difficult to bounce back.

I have learned when my body goes through one of these attacks it's best if I get plenty of rest and take it easy so for the past three days that is what I had done. I didn't put a lot of pressure on myself to workout, I just watched my calorie intake.

I did manage to make these Vegetarian South Western Rolls........(warning if you go to Annie's blog it requires some self-control, she has some very tempting dishes) they turned out perfect. They make a ton, and are very inexpensive to make. They would be perfect for a party.

Well since I didn't get a lot of exercise in this past week I was a little worried that the scale wouldn't be so kind, but like I said I didn't over indulge in my eating so I am happy to report that I am down another pound and half. I also remeasured myself this weekend after doing a month on the Flat belly diet, I have lost a total of an inch and a half around my belly (this so excites me!!!!)..... spare tire (for a semi truck) you are going down!!!!!

(p.s. thanks for the kick miss Corletta)

SEEING PROGRESS

2010-09-09T09:32:00.000-07:00

Last night for dinner was compromise night. I stated a few weeks back in an earlier post that my hubby loves his meat, and he was willing to go on board with me with eating more fish and other healthy foods but he wanted to have a dish he wants every once in awhile….. so that's what we did last night. We had grilled pork chops with steamed sweet potatoes and grilled asparagus! It was pretty yum!!!!!! Love me some PORK CHOPS (=

A little after we ate I wanted to take the dogs for a little walk since I wasn’t able to the last few days because of all the rain. They were very eager to go, can you tell?!?!?! We started out at a pretty fast walk and about five minutes in we started a nice steady jog. By the end we came shy to hitting 3miles. The only reason why we stopped was because it started to get dark on us. I really wanted to keep going.!!! This was the first time I have ever felt so strong while I was running. When I got back my husband stated that we got back pretty fast and that he can tell my breathing has improved. I didn’t even think about it until he said that, but he was right. I think that is one reason the run went so well, I was able to keep my breathing in control! After I dropped the boys back at the house I took a mile ride on my bike for a cool down…. When I got back home I was pretty pumped that my workout went so well. I am so looking forward to running again!!!!

Nothing else really to report. I was happy that we had some leftover sweet potatoes from dinner. I was able to make a salad out of them for my lunch. (see here displayed in my “Purple People Eater” – thanks Anna)

(1) cubed Sweet potato that has been steamed and then chilled
1/3 cup of Greek yogurt
1TBS on honey
Chopped red onion
Chopped walnuts

I like this recipes because using the sweet potato is a good source of vitamin C and beta-carotene, and it has Greek yogurt in it! Plus it is a pretty fast and easy dish to make for lunch, who doesn’t love a low maintenance meal (=

Hope you all are having a great day!

My lunch has a new attitude!

2010-09-08T15:47:00.000-07:00

Hello to everyone on this fine hump day! Having Monday off really spoiled me and I just want the weekend to come even sooner.

Not too much to report. Last night we tried some wheat raviolis with some marinara,

and a small side salad – total calories were 410 for my meal. The hardest part was my hubby and Evan had some garlic Texas toast……. I had a moment were I really wanted to steal it off of my hubbies plate and just stuff it down my throat, but I managed to maintain my cool.

A few hours after I ate I went to release the stress of my day in my workout room. It has been raining the past few days so I have been stuck indoors for all my workouts, but I feel that I am still getting a pretty good workout once I get in there. Sometimes I think just not getting the choice to go outside makes staying inside a bummer… but rain or shine I got to what I need to do!!
I decided that from time to time instead of just posting pictures of what I am eating I need to post pictures of some of my activity as well. These pictures were taken at the start of my workout. I like switching back in forth between running and biking at 15 minute intervals. I have to say it was very difficult to get into the groove with my hubby walking around the room, but after he got a few I kicked him out (=

An hour and fifteen minutes later, my hair was soaking wet!!! Though I love a good sweat like that. It’s the only time I feel like I am really getting after it.

Well now onto something that made me so excited and will leave you all totally convinced that I am dork, but that should already have been confirmed.. I work for NASA people what do you expect (= I was so happy yesterday to discover that my new lunch box arrived! This is very much intended for kids but it was just what I needed to keep my lunches fun. I always fall into a bad habit of not wanting to pack my lunch and lately I have been good but I wanted to add a little spice, so without further ado here is my new, funky lunch box. I even got to decorate it with stickers!!! It’s great because it has all of these separate compartments and a special lid that keeps all the stuff from running into each other! This is what I packed for lunch today.

Now I just need to come up with a name for her?!?! Any suggestions?

Being Prepared

2010-09-07T09:31:00.000-07:00

Hope everyone had a great long weekend, I know I sure did! Got a lot done around the house and got to spend some really good time with family. As of Monday (weigh day) I am down another 2.6 lbs so I am currently at 216.8 lbs!!! I am so excited, that each week it's been a pound or two.

As I have been doing the past few weeks, I use my weekend to prepare myself for the upcoming week. The hubby made the trip to the grocery store and yesterday we went with my grandma and my aunt to a local farmers market, and got stocked up on all kinds of goodies.

This weekend I got a little more creative with my Green Monsters. Each day I tried pairing a different fruit with the banana and spinach. I tried cantaloupe, blueberries, peaches…. But my favorite is spinach, blueberry, banana and a half of a pear!!!! It was so yummy and just what I needed after a good bike ride!

Speaking of bike ride I really got some good use out the bike a friend of ours given me a few months ago . It’s not the fastest and is meant more for trails than just going the distance but it’s a good start and a blessing since it was for free! Bill told me that if I get into biking more that we can save and get me fitted for one (since this bike is a little awkward for me), so something to keep in mind.

Along with biking, I got some really good workouts in this weekend. I took the dogs for a jog and when I came home I pushed myself for an additional 45 minutes on the treadmill. It really is getting a little easier to run. I remember when trying to go two minutes felt more like 30. I still have my days where it’s difficult but I know I am getting there! Beside I am enjoying it.

Another thing that I got to enjoy was making these beautiful creations! They were so good and my boys loved them! We made kabobs both on Friday and yesterday for lunch. We had a pretty big lunch, so for dinner I wanted something that would help fuel me for my evening run but not a lot of work so I made this Tomato Grilled cheese. I lightly brushed canola oil on my whole wheat bread and used (1) slice of low-fat provolone cheese, organic baby leaf spinach, and some tomatoes! It was delish, and perfect for dinner.

I wanted to focus on getting a few things I can have around the house for a healthy snack. During the week I’m good about packing a yogurt or some cottage cheese to go with some fresh fruit, but on the weekends I look at those and want to pass them up. I have gotten a lot better about always having some fruit or veggies to eat with every snack or meal so that is not much of a worry anymore, but what else can I have on hand that I will want. Well I added two new snack items in the house and I have to say this one is my favorite. I finally found some raw cashews (a find at the farmers market) so I paired them with some raisins, and golden raisins. This is a perfect mid day snack!

The other thing I picked up were these crackers (6 crackers is 70 calories), and one wedge of cheese is 35 calories. With some grapes this is a perfect snack size and will be perfect when I need to smother my urge for bread or chips!

I did have one craving all last week that was a little hard to ignore. I stayed focused and made sure I stuck to my eating and exercise and come this weekend I was still wanting it. What is it you ask?…..I’m so happy to tell you….. my down fall…. PIZZA. I love pizza and I can pack it away! I have made a few pizza alternatives in the past with pita bread and veggies on top, but I didn’t want that this time. So my alternative was this. I bought a two pack mini pizzas at 300 calories a piece (1 fits into my 400 calorie a meal plan), with a small salad… it did the trick and I didn’t feel like guilty after wards.

This post has been mostly about me preparing and planning my meal plan for the upcoming week, but I have been working on a small project the past few months that will help me prepare mentally and help me keep my focus the days I want to quit. This is my “Life, Body, Mind and Spirit” board. It has some of my favorite quotes, pictures of my husband and son, demonstrations of some exercises, and some scriptures or revelations that God has given me. It also has pictures of some pretty in shape ladies. I didn’t put pictures of people that I want to look like, cause I am coming to terms with I want to look like me. I put pictures of these ladies because I want to live my life as they are in these photos… running, biking, mountain climbing. My board is hanging on the main wall as I am walking into my workout room. I told my hubby if I have a day when I’m complaining about my weight or I say I feel too lazy to work out, he has permission to tell me to take it to the board!

What about you out there, do you have anything that helps you mentally tackle the bad days?

GET OVER IT

2010-09-03T08:47:00.000-07:00

My son just recently turned two at the beginning of August. I cannot express in words how much having him has changed my life. Having him and my husband Bill has given me so much joy! Now, yes they have their days were I want to sale them both to the gypsies but really they are my life. I am very thankful that God has blessed me with my son Evan. Despite what the doctors thought were possible, he is here and healthy!

I enjoy the heck out of being a mommy. I have a few books that I write in for him. I write down ALL the stories, you know the ones…. The first words, first walk, first haircut and all the funny things that he says or does that amazes us. I have a box that has his first year keepsakes, and of course I am always taking tons of pictures. I have several good shots of him alone, and a lot of great ones with him and his daddy… heck and anyone else that isn’t scared of the camera….. which brings me to why I am writing this particular post. I was looking through our pics and I have very few pictures of me and Evan, and the ones that I do have are just of our faces. Now it’s not from lack of people trying. I have snapped at my grandma when I see her coming with her camera….. I always tell her “you better not take any of me”, but in my defense that’s mostly because she is the one in the family that always takes the pictures were everyone’s head is chopped off. So the idea of just my body is not a pretty thought for me. My poor husband has tried countless times to take photos of me and Evan, and I usually go through and delete them all.

Last weekend we got Evan in his kiddy pool and I was in there assisting him on his slide, and my husband started snapping away. We all had a great time and for once I felt great in a bathing suit. It’s one I wouldn’t mind wearing in public because I can chase Evan down and not worry about flashing anyone. So after having fun in the yard we all came in and we started prepping for lunch. I was casually looking through the photos and Bill tells me that I better not erase any pictures. I kind of chuckled at him, and then he got really serious. He told me that he meant it and that he was tired of me always erasing anything that has me in it. My reply was, “I make sure I keep the pictures of you and Evan”….. and then he stopped me dead in my tracks with his next comment, “this family has more than just me and Evan in it, you are a part of this family too. Don’t you want Evan to see that you were a part of his first few years, and that you had fun with him like the rest of us? We look at you and think you are beautiful, don’t punish us because you don’t think you are.”

It’s not always easy to admit when someone else is right. Especially this topic. I don’t know how to explain to anyone how much pain I feel when I see a full body shot of me. I literally feel sick and I feel such an overwhelming impulse just to be angry at myself. For me pictures are the worse. I can get all dolled up, look in the mirror (yes, I own one) and think “hey you look pretty cute today”, but then I see the photo and I’m like “who is that extra person sharing clothes with me? That’s not what I look like!?!?!?” This folks is usually what has derailed me in the past. Seeing just one photo would seriously put me in a state of depression and I would say screw the diet, no use.

You know what? I have to get into the habit of saying “Get over it, and get over yourself”. So what if I’m not happy with my body…… that is why I am working on it! There is no reason to give up, just have to keep moving forward. My husband was so right…….. I shouldn’t erase myself out of our family picture!

This took a lot for me to do but here are some pictures of me and Evan having a great time!

I need to go one step further. I want to start posting a progress picture every three months. I think visually seeing my progress will help me, so for the month of September here is me, currently at 219.4 lbs.

So now that I got that out of the way, it’s time to recap my daily eating and exercise. Yesterday for breakfast I had a Green Monster but this time I added cantaloupe along with the banana and spinach. I also had one whole grain waffle with organic natural peanut butter. Lunch: Curry chicken breast on a whole wheat bun, with side of steamed brussel sprouts. Last night Bill had to work till late and it was just me and Evan for dinner, so I made a turkey taco salad with blue corn chips on the side. It was so good, and my baby boy kept trying to grab all the goodies out of it.

I don’t feel like I got a good workout last night. I tried, but with Bill not being home it was hard to keep Evan’s attention on something so I can work out. It was raining a bit so I couldn’t go for a walk with him so I chased him all night long (= I will make up for it tonight!

Have a great weekend everyone!

WHAT A GOOD FEELING

2010-09-02T15:54:00.001-07:00

I have to ask, what is it that gives you your drive? When there are days that you feel like you are never going to reach your goals, what makes you push yourself? When the days you come short of being successful and you know you aren’t doing your best, how do you pick yourself back up and get back on track?

These are the questions that I ask myself repeatedly. When I started this “weight loss” journey, I have to be honest it was for that sole purpose…. Weight loss. Sure I wanted to reap other benefits but that was my main goal. Along the way I realized I want to do this for my son, and not just because when he gets older I don’t want him embarrassed but I want to know that I did my job. I want to do a good job by introducing him to a healthy lifestyle. I’m also doing this so I can say adios to cancer and headaches for good. Before I got diagnosed back in 2005 I was pretty fit and I liked my body for the most part, but once I started going through the crap I gave up, and I felt lost. I started putting myself down, always cracking a joke about my weight (before someone else could), never really wanting to get out….. just sitting in my misery. I was killing myself before cancer could, that’s when I realized that I have to stay on my toes, while I’m down on my knees in prayer. I can’t defeat myself. It’s so easy to pick ourselves apart, and let the opinions of others drag us down…… but you know what, this girl has had enough.

I had a friend of mine at work the other day ask me to list the things that I am proud of… so Shelley this is for you:

I feel victorious when I go to the grocery store and I make smart, healthy choices and I see the toothpick girls looking at my buggy thinking twice about their options…. Score!
I like to exercise and I have been really good about getting off my butt and doing what I got to do.
I say NO all day long to temptations (we love Wendy, but she has a spread of chocolate goodness on her desk)
Prepare, prepare, prepare…… I am learning to set myself up for success and making sure I have the right tools to get the results that I want!
And I am getting way better and trusting the process and not beating myself up for where I am currently at….. I’m getting there, and I am fabulous now!

I think the next thing I need to focus on or not be so focused on, is the Time that it is going to take. I have been better at not getting discouraged with the weight not falling off over night. Matter of fact I use to focus on every day…. Meaning two more days till rest day, one more week till a new month. Now I’m like, “wow I went 24 days straight exercising every day”, or “I haven’t cheated on my diet in over 2 months”.

I really feel if I wouldn’t have let myself get so discouraged in the past and would have put forth a real effort I would have already been at my goal weight, but I’m doing that now. So in a year I won’t be talking about the weight I’m losing I will be talking about all the adventures that I am having…. And that helps me keep my focus.

So now that I got some of my emotions out let me catch you up on the week that I am having. I have been on point with my diet and exercise. I have been preparing healthy meals all week long and trying some new recipes, and for the most part all have been a success. The only one that wasn’t for me were these babies here….. this is an egg pesto pin wheel. I’m picky about my egg, and cold egg wrap just not the one for me. The pesto mixture was good, but too much for breakfast…. It would be good in a pasta dish though.

So for lunch I have been eating my veggies and finding anything to put Sabra, Supremely Spicy Hummus on…. This is the BEST store bought hummus I have ever found. So I have been pairing it up with turkey breast, feta cheese, fresh organic spinach on a wheat tortilla…. The best part is it is quick to make!!! Gotta love a lunch that taste great and you don’t have to take a ton of time to make. Another thing that I finally tried was a Green Monster….. and the verdict, I’m addicted! I make one every morning now. I have to say I was a little skeptic when I saw a recipe that told me to steam the spinach first…..the whole time I was making it I was thinking….. “this cannot be good, I’m suppose to drink this?”

So my exercise has been going well. I really feel like I am finally in a zone and when I’m through with a workout I feel like I did my best. The other night the whole family went for a walk and a neighbor spoke to us and made a comment that she can tell that I am losing weight….. isn’t that what every girl wants to hear?

Meet My Running Partners

2010-08-30T07:42:00.001-07:00

I am a proud mommy of two Rhodesian Ridgebacks that are still in the puppy stage. They require a lot of attention and exercise. They really keep me motivated. So on the days I want to skip out on myself and say “neh, I can take a break” I don’t because I don’t have the heart to skip out on the them.

Now even though they are brothers they are entirely two different dogs. The big one, weighing in over a hundred pounds is a big momma’s boy, named Brutice. He was special from the start because the breeders wanted to put him down because he doesn’t have a ridge….. but there is no way I could let that happen so we took them both (= I mean really look at this face, how can you not love him!!!!

And then there is Woodrow. This dog is so stubborn. He is the brains out of the pair and there isn’t a trick he can’t learn, but he does it only out of respect. He use to test me the first year of his life, never really giving up that dominance….. but now he is so tender and gentle with me. I think he thinks he is my parent (=

This weekend it wasn’t so dang hot out so I didn’t have to wait till it was dark to take the pups for their walk. We walked for a mile and half and then we starting running. We were about a mile in when Brutice started getting distracted and started sniffing everything we came in contact with. I had to really get his focus back on the run so I was cheering him on and trying to get him to follow me and his brother. About 10 minutes of him being back in the groove I started to get tired and was moving pretty slow. Then Brutice started bumping his head on my keister. I have to admit that made me pick up my pace just a bit, and the minute I started to slack Brutice just kept bumping me. I realized at that point he was helping me, as I was helping him!

Once getting back home I felt so pumped that the running came way easier to me, I wanted to keep going. I got on my treadmill and at first it was a breeze but about 25 minutes in I started to feel tired and I really was feeling my weight. I had a moment I wanted to quit because I felt pain. Not pain due to an injury but just having to move. I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself to suck it up. This little bit of discomfort isn’t anything to what I feel day in and day out emotionally and physically when I deal with my weight. This is where I have to start! Yeah, so I can’t run 4 miles yet on a daily….. but I will. We all have to start somewhere.

At my bible study this weekend I learned a new Greek word. The work is Nikao, which means Over Comer. I am learning so much from this Beth Moore Bible study but this week when she talked about us being over comers, it really spoke volumes to me. One statement she made was, “To prove ourselves as over comers, we have to go through something to overcome.” Hello………. This battle that I am currently in, is something that I need to overcome and I now know that I AM MEANT TO OVERCOME IT!

Another reference Beth had mentioned made me giggle….. she said that she has a grandson and when he was around two years of age he would run around a put his fist in the air and yell “I am a winner”. She said no matter what he did, he was yelling this. One time he got on the bathroom scale and just declared that he was a winner. What a concept folks! Even if we do not feel like winners at all times we need to confess that we are, and strive to be over comers!This morning I weighed myself and the scale went down 2.5 lbs…………. Oh yeah, I came out to my husband and my son and shouted “I AM A WINNER!!!! (and you know what, I feel like it)

Obstacle workout & some more Changes

2010-08-25T13:25:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I made a comment that my husband and I have been making some changes to help make us a healthier family.

Well one of the biggest things that I need is to get a daily cardio workout. I have access to my work’s gym and we had some equipment in the garage. The problem with working out in the garage is, we live in Texas……… so no matter how I felt the need that I should be working out, it wasn’t enough for me to go out and risk a heat stroke. The problem with going to the gym is I have a two year old so I can’t always leave the house. So what was the solution:

We decided since in the master bedroom we have a half bath and I had dominated the closet in this room, we moved our bed into the guest room and moved the exercise equipment into the master bedroom. Let me just say, I LOVE IT!!!! Moving into this room not only gives me room for my treadmill and spinning bike, I have floor space to work out on it doesn't feel cluttered or like I am going to run into furniture.

The only thing I really want to do now, is get Woven wooden blinds for window treatments and an inspirational quote to put on the wall behind my treadmill. I decided to put my husbands grandmother's rocker in the room and I just added new cushions. This way if someone wants to sit in here with me while I workout they can. I also put a large mirror in front of the equipment and workout floor space..... this I have liked a lot.... when I feel like stopping I just look at myself and say keep going! I also have a armoire that houses my DVD player, workout DVD s.

A few small touches, I have a place to hang my workout bands and ear phones, I have a basket for my small hand weights and towels, and a place to write my workout schedule

So now that you all know where I am working that body, body.... let's talk about last nights workout. It was in the evening, I wanted to workout (had one of those days and I just wanted some me time), I had my sweet Evan in his play crib with his Legos in front of my workout equipment. I decided to run ten minutes at a time on the treadmill and then spin for ten minutes, so I kept going back and forth (a total of 80minutes). Evan has only been in the room with me a few times when working out on the treadmill so he was fascinated with it. I got into my groove and occasionally would look down at him to make sure he was having fun..... do not let this sweet face fool you (=

At one point I hear him just a laughing and before I can react I see him start chunking his Legos my way. The first attempt he had missed, it just bounced of the front of the treadmill, but he was already reloadded and before I could react he made a perfect shot..... right by my feet. Several had hit the moving belt and I had to use my cat like reflexes (yeah right) to not trip on them..... Luckily I was able to hit the emergency stop and myself and the legos were not injured, but he gave me a little more of a workout than I wanted. I love that kid (=

A Flat Belly Diet Weekend

2010-08-23T13:31:00.000-07:00

As many of you already know and are probably tired of hearing, I just recently got the new “Flat Belly Diet, Family Cookbook”. So this weekend I wanted to try a few new recipes and get a head start on prepping some of our meals for the week.

Well Saturday started a little something like this. That’s right folks that is dark chocolate you are seeing. This is “Chocolate- Stuffed French Toast”. The recipes makes 4 servings at 416 calories a serving, and it is a meal all by itself. Two things, one I recommend making this a night ahead and putting it in the fridge, it is way better the next day. Two, if you are anything like me and don’t like anything too heavy first thing in the morning I would save this for a Brunch!

So another meal that was a big success for us this weekend was, “Vegetarian Lasagna with Tofu”. This recipes makes 4 servings at 363 calories per serving (again a serving is a big portion). I know there is a lot of skeptics out there about tofu, trust me I used to be one of them. There are ways to prepare tofu to have much flavor and to utilize its texture and this lasagna was just that. All that is in it is no-salt added basil oregano-garlic diced tomatoes, tofu, pesto sauce, baby spinach, reduced-fat Italian cheese blend, and the lasagna noodles. I modified the recipe just a bit. I used the “Plus Omega-3s,and Fiber” lasagna noodles instead of the no-boil noodle. I also mixed the tofu with the pesto sauce so the tofu could absorb that flavor. I was very pleased with the outcome! For a complete meal to help reach my 1600 calorie a day, I paired this with 2 cups of mixed salad greens (18) tossed with 1cup chopped cucumber (16), I cup sliced mushrooms (15), and 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar (14). Total Meal:426 calories.

I wanted to get a jump start for my week and make sure my family has some quick, healthy choices so I chopped up fresh pineapple, strawberries, washed the blueberries and washed and chopped a good majority of the veggies. One of my biggest challenges has always been eating breakfast. When I wake-up I am not always hungry and really don’t want to spend the time making something. So I get in ruts on eating the same thing every day, like whole grain English muffins with natural peanut butter, or a bowl of oatmeal and fruit. I have noticed I can eat the main dish for a week straight before getting bored or wanting something else, so I looked for some recipes that I can make quick or prep ahead of time and last for a few days. For this week I went with "Lemon – Blueberry muffins" (a serving consists of two muffins each at a grand total of 402 calories). For me I just had one muffin, with a couple of strawberries and 4oz of small curd cottage cheese. This was perfect amount and easy to make. Plus since my muffins are made I have something for the rest of the week. (I love quick mornings without all the calories and grease).

I am also trying to incorporate a snack once a day that’s calorie count is close 400 but that is healthy. I am trying to learn how to hit the 1600 calorie mark, but with foods that my body needs. So one thing that I made was Mango-Pineapple-Avocado salsa. A serving is ¾ cup at 265 calories. I find that this is good to top on a salad, fish, wheat crackers or served with baked chips. (Side note: you can also make a homemade guacamole with mangos and Greek yogurt, Yum! ). A little tip when working with avocados: Most of you know that once you cut avocados that they can turn brown pretty quickly, when putting in the fridge or setting aside either place the pits from the avocados in with your mixture or depending on how you are using them you can spray with cooking spray and that will keep them from turning brown.

On to other fun topics…. Exercise! I had a great weekend in this department. Since the heat has been unreal here in the state of Texas I opted to stay in an to do my thang on my treadmill and spinning bike, but don’t let being indoors fool you. I felt like I really pushed myself this weekend. Both Saturday and Sunday I ran three minutes at a time, with one minute walks for 50 minutes total. I really enjoyed breaking it up this way, and felt that I got a really good workout. Once completing this I spinned for 30 minutes both days.

Since I am upping my workout routine (with having a heel spur) I really felt the need for some new shoes, and since it was tax free weekend I got a great deal on these babies!!! I love them, and would love to wear them all day long but I am going to just use them for my workouts.

Overall I had a great weekend and felt very productive, and this morning was even better when weighing myself to find that I am down another 3 pounds!!! Slow and steady!

Everyone's Favorite Day

2010-08-20T15:03:00.000-07:00

OK, so maybe not everybody’s favorite day but I can say it is my favorite day of week!!! It’s Friday, it’s Friday (doing happy dance in chair)!!!!! Well I hope you have all survived the week and are headed for a great weekend. I am looking forward to this weekend, cause not only is it Friday it’s payday (Yippee), so we are headed to the grocery store to get stocked up on goodies and some much need supplies to try some new recipes. (Have I mentioned how much I “heart” my new cookbook). I am also going to get some cleaning done this weekend, and I am looking forward to my Beth Moore Bible study on Sunday.

I really have enjoyed the Bible study (It's a Revelation Bible Study by Beth Moore) that I have been attending. My aunt had invited me to attend and I am getting a lot out of it. I'm finding what I am learning is really helping me stay on track during the week. In fact a few times this week I have watched or listened to some teachings while I exercise. I joked with my aunt that I am exercising my spirit as I exercise my body, but it has felt so true. Think about how important it is that while we condition our bodies that we are doing the same for our mind & soul!

Well to write my progress for yesterday I stayed on track with my eating. For breakfast I had a whole wheat English muffin with peanut butter and fresh fruit. Lunch was grilled fish and brown rice (left-over’s). Dinner was extra special. My older brother asked me out on a date, so we left our significant others at home and just went out together! I had so much fun spending time with him, it really made my week. He took me to Masa Sushi (one of my favorite local places). I had the veggie roll and mushroom sake roll (nothing but veggies in either one – So not to many calories). When I got home it was pretty late so I only exercised for 30 minutes, but better than nothing.

Today I had the same for breakfast ,English muffin with peanut butter and fresh fruit. My lunch was this tuna pasta….. Yum! Perfect for lunch in the middle of a Texas summer. Didn’t leave me feeling stuffed but it was enough food to do the trick!

I am also excited that I found this Healthy Blog Community. I really encourage you all to go check it out. If you are interested in signing up just follow the below instructions:

Healthy Living Blogs is a new resource for the health blogging community. Created by Lindsey of Sound Eats, HLB is a site designed to enhance the positive community of the healthy living blog world. Bloggers and readers can explore the site and find more blogs to love, bloggers in their area, and forums to deepen healthy discussion and support. If you're interested in having your site listed on HLB, simply send the following information to healthylivingblogs@gmail.com and check the site out for yourself!

· Email subject line: MEMBERS
· Your name (please share if you prefer to go by first name, first and last, or however you prefer to be known on the Internet)
· Blog Name
· Blog URL (please start with http://, not www.)
· Your twitter handle, if applicable
· Your location (if you prefer not to disclose this information for privacy's sake, that is completely understandable. We'll simply include your blog listing in the A-Z listing, not by location, too)
· Any specific labels (i.e. vegan, gluten-free, weight loss, running, etc.)

Well everyone have a great weekend!

Almost another week down

2010-08-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a pretty good day for me. So far this week no matter what has come my way I have been pretty happy and not letting anything get me down.

Wednesday Meal Plan: For Breakfast I had a whole wheat English muffin with peanut butter and some fruit.
Lunch, I had left over chicken breast sandwich on a whole wheat bun...... but my side dish wasn't too good so I didn’t eat it. I brought a bean salad with a homemade dressing that my husband put more than a generous amount of garlic in! (Talk about being paranoid about your breath, I had curry in my chicken sandwich and I swear from just one bite I felt like I ate
an entire garlic clove - Trident is my friend). For dinner we had Tilapia with a vinaigrette you dress it with, organic steamed spinach and some brown rice...... again the meal was very yum... yum but very light!

So far eating more fish has been a great compromise for me and my husband. He was brought up with the thought that a salad alone is not a meal, and a meal is not a meal until you have an entire cow grilling on your BBQ pit. For me I am happy with just eating veggies but I'm learning my body needs a little of all the food groups, but still eating meat every night was not good for my digestive system..... so that's why fish has been working out great so far! Bill get's to grill and I (and the rest of us) get to reap the benefits of fish. Just hope we keep getting lucky with the good recipes we have been trying.

Once we had dinner, cleaned up the kitchen, I jotted down my calorie intake, got the baby bathed and ready for bed..... I had that moment of I don’t want to work out tonight. So I did the typical "Candice is lazy" thinking:

- It's getting late
- I can make today a rest day
- I can just workout in the morning and the evening tomorrow
- I am really tired, so I probably wouldn't get a good workout
- Do I hear Bill getting into the ice cream?

But then I thought:

- Well you already have your workout clothes on
- You know you are not going to have the time to work out twice
- Quit making excuses
- Girl did you see your butt in the mirror this morning?

Well I ended up on my treadmill, with the intention that I would just do something. No time restraints, even if that meant just 15 minutes..... but really in my head "at 15 minutes I am stopping". So I'm on my treadmill and I am reading a book (7th book in the series) and oh man I got so engaged into this book. It was a real page turner moment for me. I kept so focus on the book and kept increasing my pace. Next thing I know 3 chapters, 50 minutes, and a lot of sweat later I was done. Once I was done I felt so proud, and very thankful that I didn't talk myself out of what I needed to do.

What about you guys? Do you catch yourself trying to talk yourself out of what you know you need to do? When you push yourself do you feel better or worse afterwards?

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Fan-Freaking-Tastic Fish

2010-08-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

Monday night the hubby and I wanted to try something new out of our “Flat Belly Diet Family cookbook” (by the way, we are loving this cookbook!!!!). We came across, “Fish Nuggets”. Now my husband is accustom to deep frying fish, so I was a little worried that this would not be a crowd pleaser for the entire family. I have a two year old whose taste change weekly and a hubby that would be happy with pork chops and mashed potatoes every night. So during the ten minute bake time I was thinking, we might just have to eat the steamed broccoli and steamed sweet potatoes tonight. But to my surprise they were a Hit!!!! I mean the BEST, light tasting, but hit the spot fish ever! I highly recommend anyone that is wanting that fried fish taste without the grease to give it a try.

So far during this past week I have been doing at least 45 minutes of cardio daily, and then some major stretching after-wards. Just trying to get my body warmed up to the activity again. Like always I am provided with tons of energy and overall feel so much happier. I have also noticed I am sleeping like a champ!!!! Nothing beats getting that type of sleep.

Yesterday I stayed on track and feel pretty dang good about that! I woke up and had a whole grain waffle with peanut butter and some fresh fruit. Lunch, was a avocado half with chicken salad and watermelon slice and a few wheat crackers. Dinner, curry
chicken breast on whole wheat bun with two slices of avocado and roasted brussel sprouts, and less than ½ cup of cottage cheese. I also managed to get my 8 – 8oz glasses of water in…… though I hate it when I start drinking this much water because I have flash backs of when I was pregnant…. You know the peeing every 15 minutes! But peeing aside I had a great day and finished it with a great 45 minute workout.

I also learned something else from my sweet two year old boy last night. He had his first real shower (he usually just gets baths), and at first we could see a little hesitation but at no time at all he was laughing and jumping through the water. I love how excited and so unafraid he is to try something new. That really got me thinking this morning on how awesome that would be to look at every new adventure like a child does. So Evan baby, thanks for teaching mommy to just jump in and have fun with it!!!

A Little Update

2010-08-16T08:48:00.000-07:00

So again I have not made the time to be faithful with writing in my blog, and boy have I missed it. I find that the more I write the more I stay on track. Not only have I not been writing but I haven’t been serious about my fitness journey. I let myself get a little relaxed in a few areas but I'm ready to jump back in the saddle.

It's hard at times not to beat myself up for letting something derail my success but I am proud that I keep going back to it..... eventually it's going to have to stick, right?!?!

Now don't get me wrong the past few months have not been a complete waste. For the month of May I won the Biggest loser competition at work at a total loss of 15 lbs for the month. The downside is the past few months I have been like a yo-yo just trying to maintain it. But it has totally been my fault. I haven’t really put forth the effort.

So we made some major changes in the house (more to come at a later date) and we are back on eating healthier food and incorporating exercise into our daily schedules.

One thing that I am making a must have is more fish! I don't know what it is, if after having my son or turning thirty but I really cannot eat meat much anymore and if I do I'm left feeling sick. The good news is that I am finding I really enjoy grilled or baked fish.So my husband, the Chef of our household is experimenting with new recipes so we don't get bored with it!
Here is what we ate Saturday night, it was very filling but didn't leave me feeling like I ate too much.

Well here is to a new week and a new start!

Bite Your Tongue

2010-05-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

So how many of you apply the old saying “if you have nothing nice to say, do not say anything at all” when you’re talking about yourself?

I am a firm believer that the words you speak will create the life you live. I had a habit of always saying to myself and to others “I can’t lose the weight”, “this is way too hard”, “I’m never going to change”, “I’m a hopeless fat slob”. – You know what, when I was saying those things…………. It was true! How can any one change if that is what they are thinking. Speaking those negative words over myself accomplished nothing but eliminating my possibility to succeed.

Instead I’m learning to change my thoughts and speak words of life over my circumstance. If I can’t tell how things may turn out instead of saying it is impossible, I’m going to say….”hmmm, how do I make this a possibility?” I’m also learning to be happy with the small changes and not be in such a hurry to see the results. It hit me the other day that taking it slow and doing it correctly is setting up a Strong Foundation! I rather have that then a foundation that can be blown away.

Growing up I was always told that I can do anything that I set my heart & mind to. I remember thinking, “yeah, yeah…..sure”, but you know what they were right! (Yeah family you heard me, I said you were right…. Those words taste a lil funny….hehehehe) But the truth is, if I stay determined and focus on the positive things and speak positively I will begin to believe them and one day see them.

So remember everyone, you will create the world you live in by the words you speak…. What does your world look like?

Trust the Steps

2010-05-25T06:52:00.000-07:00

We were over at friends house a few weeks ago and they had some really fun outdoor toys, so my husband decided to put Evan at the top of the kid slide. He quickly learned the concept and really enjoyed sliding down, but as soon as it was over he got really upset. Instead of letting us pick him up to put him on the top or let us show him how to climb the ladder he tried walking up the slide. This didn’t go over to well…. A few times he would get so close to the top but then he would slide right back down, or he would just plain fall off. He got even more frustrated but every time we tried to show him the correct way he still wanted to do it his way. We finally just let him explore it on his own and after several minutes went by and a few high pitch screeches he finally found the rungs on the ladder and made it to the top.

I can’t even count how many times I have struggled or got frustrated with this weight loss journey. I have definitely tried to climb that slide backwards thinking I can get to the top quicker and easier but every time as I was half way to the top, I just slid back down to the bottom. I’m learning to use the rungs of the ladder myself. It may not seem as fast or exciting but it will get me there one step at a time!

Happy, Happy Monday

2010-05-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone, and happy Monday. Are we all ready for our week to begin? I wanted to say a Thank you for all of you that have welcomed me back. You guys have no idea how much I have missed you all and really needed to get writing again. I really notice a difference when I’m not blogging it all down and I do not want to go down that path again. So thank you all for not giving up on me and thanks Miss Corletta for still loving me (= (crazy girl )

This weekend I stayed on track with my eating. I basically just prepared for it. I knew I would be busy and not at home for the majority of the weekend so I packed my lunch and had a few things prepared at home so I wouldn’t flirt with the idea of eating out all weekend. I did go last night with my friend Samantha to Olive Garden but I had soup/salad and a few stuffed mushrooms. I was worried that I would want to attack the bread sticks but I didn’t have the urge. I have been noticing that I am starting to realize when I actually am full. I have struggled for years with going hours without eating and then I sit down to eat something and just basically shove it in till it’s gone, it bothered me to see it sitting there, especially if it was smothered in cheese (= So for me I have learned to have three balanced meals a day and a small snack in the afternoon. I am not ready for doing the 5-6 small meals a day because I know I will end up with much larger meals and then I will be eating all day.

I ate well this weekend and though I did not get to do my normal exercise routine I still feel that I got a workout. Saturday my family and I had a garage sale and it was pretty successful but boy it was some work. We live in Texas so by the time we set up everything I was already a pool of sweat. It made for a very long day and by the end of it I was ready to get some rest. Sunday, is my day off from exercising so I didn’t really do much, just some house cleaning. This morning I started my day with a jump start, I had a 45 minute workout on my spinning bike and plan on running with my puppies after work.

Today is our Biggest Space Losers Luncheon & Weigh In. This morning I weighed in at 221 lbs. That’s a total loss of 11.4 pounds this month so far, and there is still a week left for the month!!! I am determined to get under 200 lbs.

One other little thing that I wanted to share that I hope some of you get as excited as I was. Yesterday I had went to my Beth Moore bible study and she had broke down the scripture “This is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.” The Hebrew translation of Rejoice means to “spin around”! Man that is so awesome, so everyone please join me and SPIN AROUND on this Monday!!!

No More

2010-05-21T12:15:00.001-07:00

That’s right everyone ,No more! I am no longer going to let my fears hold me back. I’m no longer going to let other’s opinion dictate how I feel about myself. I’m no longer going to let my medical condition keep me from doing what makes me happy. And for you all out there in blog land, YOU will No longer have to see my old post about tacos for the next three months (=

So it’s obvious I haven’t kept up with my blog in the past few months, and I’m sad to say that I didn’t really keep up with my diet and exercise. When I last left off I was at 214 lbs, but as of a month ago I was back up to 240lbs. I know exactly what had happened (more about this later).
I got into a state of depression and disbelief that I will be able to make it. I started doubting that I can beat cancer, and that I can overcome my battle with obesity. So I said screw the diet and shoved anything fried and greasy into my mouth. The sad fact was, I really wasn’t happier. It didn’t change the fact that I still have these battles. If anything, after I was done gorging I was left feeling empty and I knew I was failing myself. To make it worse the food wasn’t even satisfying. You all know what I mean….. you tell yourself you don’t have time to prepare a healthy dinner and that fast food sounds good to you. So you get your food to go but half way home you have eaten all you fries( that you can tell had been sitting out for a long time and covered in salt), you get home and sit in front of the couch to realize that they didn’t even make the burger as you wanted it. So after you pick most of the veggies off (the one good thing in the meal that you rationalize to have that burger in the first place), scrap off the unwanted condiment, you devour that burger……… and then what happens ?!?!?! I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m just left me with a bad battle of stomach cramps and wishing I ate something else.

I realized I feel a lot more fulfilled when I eat well balanced meals, and I get fewer headaches when I make exercise a part of my daily routine. This is what I can do to battle my problems! This helps me prepare my body for the battle ahead, it helps me deal with the stress of my situation and it gives me something to be proud of. I know longer want to defeat myself and throw in the towel because I feel like I am lost cause.

As for any battle, we have to prepare ourselves. I no longer what to get caught in this cycle that in one minute I’m on track and the next I let one little event derail my whole cause. So my first step in preparation was looking back at all the times that I felt like I have failed and the times that I completely just stopped…………….. this was no easy task and to be honest I know I still have a lot to acknowledge, but some of the obvious known offenders are:

- I have a people pleasing personality: when I first started my new healthy lifestyle I was excited and didn’t let anything hold me back. I learned to say “no thank you” to sweet treats at office parties and family get together. I started making time for exercise, even if that meant getting up at 4 am in the morning so it didn’t change my families schedule. I found time to blog about my journey and received inspiration and encouragement from others on similar paths and found a real outlet to get my frustration out. I also made meal plans for my household and even on the nights that we felt crunch for time I still opted for the healthy choices instead of going out for something quick……. But Then…….

I started feeling guilty when some of my friends/family made comments how they made a special treat just for me, felt guilty that I took time away from my family to go exercise or to blog, and I started caving in when my hubby didn’t want to eat fish and veggies anymore, so we went out and ate way to many foods smothered in Queso.

- I listen to STUPID people: when I’m on track and I start to see results, like my pants getting a little loser and I can tell my face is getting skinner I get a burst of self- confidence. I feel proud that I’m not craving those cheese enchiladas and when I do have cravings I learn how to control them in a healthy way. I get so pumped and I start to feel like “I CAN DO THIS MAN”……. But Then…….

I talk to the village idiot!!!! We all know one. This is the one that tells you, “yeah your probably doing all this work just to put it all back on”, “you may get skinny but you’re always going to have that baby roll”, “wow… you do weigh a lot.

- I’m impatient: we have all heard “you didn’t put the weight on overnight, so it’s not going to come off overnight.” When I’m in the groove and I’m getting my workout on and making better food choices I notice a change right away…. And that feels great”……. But Then…….

Maybe a pound or two a week comes off. Or gain a pound or two that everyone says “oh it’s just muscle gain”. Even if that is true…. It’s discouraging. I have found that I have those days that when I know I’m on the right track but I look in the mirror and I second guess everything that I am doing. It’s hard when your kicking but in the gym everyday and eating the right foods and you look at yourself and you feel fatter than ever!

All of the these things get me to where I feel like what’s the use. I start to think that I can’t change it, and I start excusing my actions by jumping off the band-wagon. Well NO MORE!!!!!

The truth of the matter is I know I can do this. I joined a “biggest loser” competition at work, and I have really enjoyed getting to know everyone. We have a variety of different sizes and health goals. I find it very inspiring and hope to one day be an inspiration to others. At the start of the competition I was at 232 lbs and in two weeks I am currently at 222 lbs. I’m off to a great start and I feel happy again. This is something that I need to do for me. No more worrying about if I offend someone for saying no, and no more worrying when I do have a small “treat”. And as for others thinking that they have a right to judge my looks and my body, I will just remind them that I was “fearfully and wonderfully made in the image and fashion of God himself” and then I may smile and tell them that at least my ugliness doesn’t reside in the inside.

Well guys it’s great to be writing again and thank you all for your sweet comments and prayers. Stay tuned for my next adventure!!!!

Tacos!!!!!!

2010-02-09T07:10:00.000-08:00

Happy Tuesday to ya!

Last night when I got home my hubby had dinner prepared. He had made turkey tacos with low fat cheese, and low fat sour cream. I had saw last week on Brittany’s blog a way to still have tacos but with a healthier twist……. Use a lettuce wrap instead of your traditional shell! Folks it rocked!!! Thank you Brittany for posting this idea. (Everyone take the time to check out her blog. She always has some quick and easy, yet healthy food ideas!) I really enjoyed them this way and didn’t feel guilty for eating them…… Yippee a way to have Mexican food and not feel guilty, now that’s something (=

This morning I got up at 3:45 a.m. and made it to the gym by 4 a.m. I stayed on the elliptical for an hour and half and burned 744 calories! Once I was done with that I did a few stretches and some core moves with an exercise ball.

I was a little pressed for time this morning because my household had a lot going on. Our pet rabbit, Elliott died. We have had him for close to four years and he was a little older when we got him. So that part of my morning was pretty sucky, but we kind of had a feeling that it was coming….. he hasn’t been acting like himself lately when we let him roam the yard. So I spent the morning taking care of that.

Once I came inside and got cleaned up for work I really didn’t have a lot of time to “make” breakfast, and was not feeling cereal. So I ended up eating the sandwich I prepared for lunch, turkey breast on Jewish rye bread with low fat mozzarella cheese and a few cherry tomatoes. I know this may seem weird for breakfast but it was pretty good!

For lunch a co-worker and I are going to “Salad Express”.
I haven’t been there in awhile but I’m looking forward to taking an actual lunch break for once and getting out the office. I really do appreciate that lately when family & friends want to have lunch or dinner with me they always ask me what or where can I eat. Not that I want them to bend over backwards for me, but it really means a lot that they take my goals and the changes I am trying to make in consideration.

My husband is so on track with me at the moment on what I want to achieve. In the past I would feel bad when he said he just wanted a quick meal, and want to go grab something at a fast food establishment. I would eventually cave in and then the routine of eating “fast” would form again. The past few months have not been perfect but we have really kicked that bad habit. We are both learning how to make the right choices for everyone in our family. Not only are we eating better foods, and feeling better from it, we are also saving money from not going out so much. The other night my husband stated that he wanted to grab something quick, but I told him to go ahead if that’s what he wanted and I will just prepare something from home for me and the baby. He gave me a big hug and told me that he was sorry and then he thanked me for keeping him on track. It feels really good that we are doing this as a team!!!

Well folks have a blessed Tuesday!!!

Being a Winner/Family Fun/Meal Plan

2010-02-08T09:59:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone if off to a good week. It’s amazing how my outlook on Mondays have changed in the past few months. My husband and I use to torture each other on Sundays making little comments like…. “you know what tomorrow is…Urgh”. That is me no longer. I love Mondays. You get a fresh start every week !!!! So let’s make this week better than the last!

To start my week off right my girl at KatDoesDiets notified me that I am the winner of her latest giveaway! I was excited to learn that any day I will be receiving the “Hungry Girl Chew The Right Thing” Recipe Cards. I am so excited about winning this giveaway. I just recently heard about “Hungry Girl” from other bloggers and have been wanting to give it a try……. Now I get too! Thanks again Kat, and for the rest of you go check out Kat’s blog. She is very uplifting and you may have a chance to win from one of her giveaways too!

Well now it’s time for me to give you a recap of my weekend boys and girls. On Saturday morning I woke up early for a Saturday. I had a little bit of a headache and to be honest with you, all I wanted was to cuddle my hubby a little longer and get a few more hours of sleep in. I laid there for a second but then my bladder was awake and there is no ignoring her in the morning. So once I got my first morning relief I tried laying back in bed, but then my mind was awake. So my mind reminded me that Bill had to go work later in the day and even though I feel like I have a small tennis ball attached to the back of my head the best way to ignore the pain is to get up and start moving….. so I did. I wanted to start doing some chores in the house but Bill, the baby, and the dogs were still sleeping. So I headed for the gym at 5:45 a.m.

Once I got there and on the elliptical it was 6. I got my book out and boy was it good! I got suckered into it and before I knew it I had went 30 minutes. I was at such a good part in the book I didn’t want to stop so I just hit “quick start” on the machine and went another HOUR! Don’t let the part about me reading fool ya, I was still listening to my tunes and I got a GREAT workout. My hair was plastered to my head (and for ya’ll that know my hair that’s no easy task), and my shirt was a darker shade of pink. For others sake I was glad that no one got on the equipment next to me by the end because my "Bath and Body Works" quit working, I was a pool of sweat…………… but I loved it! Once I got off the elliptical I went and hit a few of the weight machines, and then went home. The rest of the morning was pretty busy.

Bill and I made an omelet and shared it together. We used egg whites, fresh spinach, mushrooms and pepper. That sucker was huge, but so yummy after a good workout.

Once we cleaned up from breakfast Bill had to go to work so I decided to do my chores. I dusted (and the crowd boo’s), gathered the trash, did a few loads of laundry and of course entertained my little man. When Evan was down for his nap I took the dogs outside to bathe them, but our back yard is so muddy after the weather we been having. I figured once I got them in the garage I would clean their feet……… wrong. Brutice managed to push the door to the kitchen open so I had them playing keep away (from me) through the dinning and kitchen area……………. It was such a mess! I had mud all over my white floors. So though I did not plan on mopping the floors they got done this weekend too.

Later in the afternoon my brother Nathan, his wife Jessica, Selah (my niece), and my mom all came over. Earlier in the week I was telling Jess about how fun spinning is and how much I think she would enjoy it. So since I have a spinning bike they came over and all gave it a try.
It was really fun getting to hang out with them. Nate and Jess both gave the spinning bike a try and I think they really liked the workout they got from it. While Jessica and I visited (while she was still on the bike), Nathan tried my EA Active game for the Wii…… from the “sound” of it he got a really good workout. My big brother is such a ball of energy! I was cracking up cause he was letting that game know who was boss. Trust me when Nathan is excited about something you can’t help but be excited too! It was a really great visit! Jessica kicked butt on the spinning bike and I am hoping to convince her on going with me sometime to a class at the gym….. I know she will love it! Later my grandma and my aunt Suzanne came over too, it was a little party (= What I really enjoyed about spending time with everyone was we were talking about health & fitness. This new way of life is really becoming a passion and I was so excited to share that with my family. It was so cool to hear their ideas and changes that they are making. Jess and I were exchanging ideas that the family can do together and stay active!

Later that evening Bill and I ate from Masa Sushi. I had a vegetable roll! Yum I love that stuff (=
Before I went to bed I did a thirty minute abs routine to target my lower and upper abs and oblique.

Sunday morning Bill, Evan and I took the dogs for a family run. We went 3.5 miles and was able to run the 3 miles straight. Man it feels so cool to actually be running. I can’t even describe how good it feels to be able to do this now. There are times that I really have to focus on my breathing but it gets a little easier every time! The last bit of the run I wouldn’t say we walked, it was more like a tug of war match with the dogs. They saw some ducks that they wanted to play with, so I got pulled a bit. Once we got home and washed up we went to the grocery store.

We got a lot of good stuff to make for our lunches and dinner for the week. I have been a veg-a-holic lately. Purple cabbage was the veggie of the week last week but I am wanting to learn new ways to prepare eggplant and artichokes. For eggplant all we know to do is fry it, so that’s not going towork. Please peeps if you got any ideas on how to prepare either eggplant or artichokes I would appreciate it?!?!?!?!

Later that evening my hubby cooked while I did and hour workout on my spinning bike. I put Evan in his play pen next to me, it was like having my own personal cheerleader!!

So now brings us to today….. Monday. I didn’t go to the gym this morning but I did walk the dogs and I had some cleaning I had to do before work.
For Breakfast I ate a bowl of Kashi Go lean Crunch with some blackberries & raspberries.

I also packed the following to take to work today. For Lunch I have some honeydew melon,

& a turkey sandwich on rye bread with low fat mozzarella cheese (dry).

For a Snack I packed some hummus and red bell pepper. For those of you out there that love hummus, I am loving this brand and flavor (SABRA -Supremely Spicy Hummus).
I like a little kick of spice with my food, so this flavor is perfect. I can’t wait to have my snack today!!!!

Well everyone I hope you are having a great day!!!!

Finally!

2010-02-05T12:05:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday everyone. Hope you all are getting ready for the weekend. Today I got some news from my doctor after a few weeks of waiting. My test results show that at the moment I have some swelling of the brain. At this time they do not have answer on why it is swelling, but they do not feel that it is caused by an infection. He prescribed me a medicine that I am to take for the next few days and next week I am to have some more tests run to see if it has corrected the problem. In addition to the swelling they have found 6 more tumors along my spine and neck, but without doing a biopsy are not sure if they are malignant as well. We discussed the option of surgery(for the tumors on spine), but will not make that call till we know if they are cancerous. At this time I do not suffer really from back pain so my thought on the subject is if they are not causing me pain, and are not going to cause further damage I do not want to go through the surgery. Usually people who have back surgery have chronic pain from then on. My doctor did not seem concern at this time about the tumors on my spine (so know idea of if/when having biopsy), instead the focus is the swelling. So if you guys wouldn’t mind continuing to pray, I would greatly appreciate it!

On a lighter note……. I am really excited about my next 21 days to keep a food journal of what foods I am eating. Thank you all for your ideas, I’m thinking of mixing some of them together, the key for me is to keep it simple yet fun!

This morning I didn’t work out because my head was really hurting when I woke up so it took me much longer to get out of bed than normal. Though while laying there I was talking to my hubby of a game plan for this weekend to get my workouts in. I know he has to work but we were discussing when I could go . I am amazed how much my thinking has changed in the past few months. Before if I was struggling with something whether it be my health or just some lame excuse….. I would just think, “oh I will make time for it later.” Now I’m like “okay how is all of this drama going to fit into my new healthy lifestyle. “

I’m finding I really prefer to go to the gym in the morning and walking the dogs in the evening. I feel a good morning workout fuels me for the rest of the day, and just starts my day in the right direction. For me I am finding if I start my day with a healthy choice I am more likely to keep up with it for the rest of the day.

I did do one thing I was pretty proud of today. My husband had bought an assortment of candy that you would normally see at the movies. He bought 6 boxes of candy to be exact. He picked it up for last weekend to go with a movie. We didn’t open any of them, and they have been sitting on the counter all week. I usually don’t really crave sweets but I have been known in the past if something triggers that binging cycle that nothing is safe. So I wouldn’t say I was tempted at the moment but I didn’t want to be later. I packed them up and asked Bill if he would take them to work and share them with his buddies. As my friend Angela use to say at work…........ “Set yourself up for success!”

Well I don’t have too much planned for the weekend. I know I will be working out and I desperately need to clean my house. I didn’t dust last weekend and it’s driving me crazy. I am really hoping my sister-in-law Jessica will be coming over to check out my spinning bike. I just love when I get to see her. I saw her this week at my grandma’s house. She has always been that person for me when I see them I just get so excited talking to her. She is always encouraging and though sometimes we are different in so many ways, I love the way she looks at things. I feel bad because I tend to just overwhelm the conversation and after we part I think… “damn did I let the girl talk”? Well I hope she loves me anyways and just knows that I adore her!

Well peeps have a great weekend!

No More Excuses!

2010-02-03T12:09:00.000-08:00

Hope you all are enjoying your week! Per my last post I have been thinking on what goal I want to accomplish for the next 21 days in order to form another good habit. I thought of a few good ones, but I have decided on the next 21 days to form a habit of writing in a food journal on what foods I am eating and their calorie count. I started out writing in a food diary, but for one reason or another I didn’t keep up with it. It just becomes so much work. I get frustrated mostly with calculating the calories in vegetables ……….. I know, I know everyone says you can look it up on-line, but I just don’t have the patients. The next 21 days are going to be interesting. I know I will benefit from doing this because not only will I be able to capture an accurate calorie intake, and servings, it’s another way to keep me accountable. I think one of my worst habits I am hoping to break with this is when I'm preparing my lunch for the day or even dinner I will take a few bites just to get a taste, but never really calculate that in my daily intake… so not to bad when it’s veggies but can be dangerous with other things (=

About a week ago I got a membership to a local gym, but I haven’t gone there yet to work out. As most of you know last week wasn’t a really good week for me, and this week when I would plan to go to the gym something would come up. Well that all changed this morning. I got out of bed and made it there a little before 4:30 a.m. Olivia was already there getting her workout on (the girl is a machine), and a little bit later my friend Jeremiah aka “J” got on the treadmill next to me (I love getting to see my friends even if we are not there to really visit). I stayed on the elliptical for a total of 40 minutes. Today I didn’t get to stay as long as I would have liked because I needed to get things done at home before I went to work.

When I got home I let the dogs out, and while I waited for them to eat and do their business I jumped on my spinning bike for a little over 20 minutes. So overall I think I had a pretty good start to my day and I am glad that I past the hump of just getting my butt in there.
I feel blessed that I have so many friends that have been encouraging me and giving me great advise. I love that since I have made this choice I have so many friends that are excited and want to join me. I by no means have a lack of friends that are willing to be my workout partners. As most of you already know because I have talked about her a lot, Olivia has always been there for me. Bill and I have started running together or taking the pups for walks but in addition my good friend Jana told me last night that she wants to start meeting me at the gym like we use to do. J said that he will help me get a weight lifting routine down and my friend Samantha has been more than willing to go with me. Even my sister in law Jessica and I were talking about spinning this weekend. So I think I am covered for the days I may need someone to kick me in gear! It feels so good to know that others believe in me and know that I can do this.

Sometimes the problem is convincing myself that I can do this and that I deserve it. So many times have I focused on the fact that I don’t want to be fat anymore, but never really put the effort in to get the results that I want. When I look back I have no one to blame but myself. Yes, I know I have had a baby, and a few medical setbacks but there will always be something that comes up. I guess I’m to the point I know I need to push myself. I look at it like this, when I would go to a Chinese buffet or to my favorite Mexican restaurant I didn’t hold back, so why should I when it comes to getting my life back?

I'm Back!

2010-02-01T10:39:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday everyone! I want to first say thank you to everyone that has been praying and leaving me such encouraging messages. At this time not all of my test results have come back so we are still playing the waiting game, but I am feeling much better.

So to get back into the groove of things let me fill you in on what I have been up to. This weekend was my husband’s 30th birthday. He didn’t really want a party and we didn’t feel that we had the time to go out of town, so instead we had a nice weekend of just us. My brother Matthew and his wife Nancy watched Evan for the entire weekend! They are so incredibly good with him, and my six year old nephew enjoys anytime he can spend with his little cousin. So I knew he was in good hands, but man did I miss that little guy. I cried when I was packing up his stuff for the weekend, I cried when we left their house, cried when we came home, cried when I woke up……. I felt like so ridiculous cause I knew he was fine, but I wanted him with me (= My husband laughed a little at me, but not much…. He felt the same way too. So other than missing our boy we had a really good time together and realized how much we needed that time. We went out to eat, and did some shopping. Nothing major but it was really nice not to have a schedule. We got up the same time as normal but we didn’t feel rushed to start our day. Instead we got a chance to lounge a bit…… it was a very peaceful weekend. On the down side I really didn’t get much exercise in and for the first time in months I didn’t calorie count. Overall I did fine with keeping it in line, but I did stray from what has become my normal diet. We splurged on a few sweet treats, and ate Mexican food one night, and I drank a coke……….. again I have been staying away from this stuff for months. After splurging over the weekend I have a couple of concerns. ONE: will I go back to my old ways from one weekend? Answer: Absolutely not. As it was nice to have a few of these things, I have to say I feel much better with the foods that we have been eating and I was very happy to plan my breakfast, lunch and dinner for today to get back into it. My other concern was I had decided at the first of the year not to judge my success strictly by weight loss and by watching the scale. I factor in other things such as my ability to accomplish physical task that have been difficult, or on how does my body & health feel over all…so with this I decided to only weigh myself once a month, the first of every month. So today being February 1st it was weigh day…….yuck, after this weekend when I didn’t exercise or really eat right, plus I have the not so lovely monthly visitor in my life at the moment. Oh well I did it anyways. So for the month of January I lost a total of 9.5 lbs. My goal is to lose 10-12 lbs a month, but I have to say that I wasn’t disappointed with this loss. I mean it is a loss after all and I am focusing on changing my lifestyle and not just my body type so I am happy with my progress this month. I have to say that this month I noticed that my workout routine has gotten a lot easier, and I am ready to intensify my routine. I am going to start incorporating swimming and more weights. In addition I am going to increase my distance of walking/running. I am still staying on a daily 1500-1700 calorie intake with a target deficit of 1000. So with upping my workout routine, this should be attainable!

Here is a list of either things I have tried for the first time or I accomplished for the month of January:

- Worked on my 21 day challenge of not saying anything negative about myself or my weight. This was a very difficult challenge, but I have to say it is getting easier! (Stay tuned this week for my next 21 day challenge).

- I am now able to walk 6-8 miles in a day. Not something that I do every day but I now have the ability to do so.

- I attended a 2hour belly dancing class, and learned some new moves (=

- We have broadened our selection on fruit/vegetables and the way that we prepare them (so long butter).

- Walking the dogs is now a part of our daily routine.
- I am able to run 2.5 miles without stopping.

- My husband and son now go for walks/runs with me, which give us a fun family activity.A family that sweats together, stays together (=

- As cheesy as this may sound I feel victorious when we grocery shop……. All of the right things are in our buggy! Our grocery cart reflects a healthy lifestyle.

- I am a water drinking machine!

- I am learning healthy ways to avoid eating out of boredom or eating because of emotions. A big thing that I have learned this month is when I think I am wanting to go raid the kitchen I ask myself if I am really hungry and is it worth the hours of work for a second of satisfaction.

- I see an improvement in my hair and skin.

- I am learning to find time for me!!!! The month of February I want to concentrate on giving me that “me” time. I want to get back to taking at least (1) 15 minute break a day at work.

Well folks I can’t wait to see what the month of February will bring! At the start of my journey I was 247 lbs and now I am currently at 214.5 lbs!!!!! Reaching my goals one pound at a time (=

Waiting

2010-01-25T14:25:00.000-08:00

So I know some of you are excited to hear about how my belly dancing class went last weekend, or if you’re not, I have been wanting to tell you all about it. I ended up going with my sister in law Amy and one of my good friends, Jana. It was really cool to experience something new with some buddies (that way I had someone to laugh with). The instructor was incredible, she was very patient with us all, but she made sure that we got the moves down before we went to the next. After 2.5 hours of working it out I was a little worried that the next day I would feel like I needed a hip replacement, but I felt it mostly in my abs and lower belly……….. Yippee! Most of you know I have been wanted to find a way to target that baby bump (hell, it’s a baby bolder….. but you know what I mean), so I was happy to find a way that was fun. I’m really hoping that they will offer more classes in this area.

Okay serious time:

I feel bad cause I have not made the time this past week to post anything. Last week was a difficult week for me. It started off great but by mid week I just was not in the spirit of things. I had a really bad headache and a bad episode of seizures. I haven’t really been sick like this in awhile. I ended up going to the emergency room and they were able to get things under control and I rested the next few days. My doctor changed my meds and at the moment I feel pretty good. The only thing that really bothered me was my blood work came back not so good. There is some kind of activity, so they ordered a few other test, including an MRI. So now we wait……………. I hate that part the most. That’s when fear tries to set in and says the cancer is back or wonder what now. I have to remember that this situation is in God’s hands and I know I am healed. I am so looking forward to the day that I don’t sit in a doctor’s office with a lump in my throat and my fist clinched to brace myself for whatever news I am going to be told. So this week I will find out what is going on. The doctors do feel from what test results have come back that I may have another tumor on my brain as well as my spine. So this week will be a week of prayer and I will try to stay calm...... it's so hard not to get worked up.

So no big shock I didn't have a very active week on the fitness level, but I did manage to go for some peaceful walks with my husband & the baby. I really enjoy when I have their company. I know my husband wanted me to rest, but he knows how important it is for me to be out there enjoying life. I don’t want just to sit by and wait.

Well peeps I promise I will post more this week, and get back in my routine. I got some really cute pics I want to share. Hope you are all having a great Monday!

Keeping positive even when running into a few locked doors!

2010-01-15T14:04:00.000-08:00

So let me start by saying one simple little thing………………… IT’S FRIDAY, IT’S FRIDAY! (Insert cartwheel & black flip here!) So as you may can tell I am pretty excited that this week is over. Not that is was a bad week or anything, but um yeah, I like my weekends more!

Well to give you all the re-cap, I was a good girl again today. I woke up a little before my alarm clock went off, so that was set at 4 a.m. (My poor hubby, but I think he is adjusting). So once I woke up I hit the floor & man was I perky. Even annoyed myself a little with how excited I was to start the day (it’s just a symptom that IT’S FRIDAY….sorry couldn’t resist). I let the doggies out to handle their business, and then I jumped on my spinning bike. I don’t know what the rest of you do, but I’m finding when I workout on equipment, I do much better when I have my mp3 player (very loud) and have a movie on (though I can’t hear it). I tried doing both of those without the other… but I like the combo. Anyways I totally soaked my workout shirt. This morning I barely set on the bike. I either stood up the whole time or did jumps. I did this for a total of 40 minutes and then did 30 minutes of weight training with our Cross Bow and free weights.

During my stretch I heard my big boy Brutice barking……… crap I forgot about the dogs being outside. When I went to let them in, Brutice was all by himself. Woodrow managed to climb over the fence and took off. So I ran through the garage door, running down the street in the rain looking for my other dog. It was around 5:30 a.m. in the morning, and though the neighbors we have met are nice I didn’t want to start yelling hysterically in the streets, but I got nervous every time a car past. I was so worried that someone would hit my sweet boy. I ran back in the house, at this point my hubby was coming in the garage…asking what was going on. He raised his voice a bit, he wasn’t mad at me or anything…. Just not the way he wanted to start his morning (he is not a morning person…. at ALL). I guess from his voice being so loud Woodrow came back in the house, right to me (my sweet protector).

So now that this dilemma was resolved I started to do my abs routine. Hubby came through the garage to say goodbye as he was leaving for work. I got done with my workout, went to go back in the house……

You guessed it, the door was locked! I didn’t panic too bad, because though my 17 month old is sleeping in his crib, my grandmother had spent the night with us. She always likes sleeping on the couch so I went to the front door, and tried to lightly knock. Now I love my grandma….. no lie she has been my best friend every since I was a little girl, and though I love her very much the women is deaf! So 14 minutes go by, I tried knocking on the door, ringing the door bell, knocking on the window, going back to the kitchen door and knocking on it…………. Nothing. By this time some of my neighbors were leaving for work and let’s just say I felt like an idiot with my head rested on my own door begging it to open, soaking wet from the rain in some thin workout clothes….. I tried one more time, and Finally she came to my rescue. She was in the restroom, so bless her heart this whole time she was wondering what the heck the noise was. (For the record the baby slept through the whole ordeal).

Now work today…….Urgh……..non-stop! Let’s just say knowing that IT’S FRIDAY, got me through it! So though today had a few hiccups I kept a positive attitude. In the past if some small drama started that early in the morning it would derail the whole day, but not today!

Not sure what all I’m doing this weekend. The only thing I have planned for sure is the belly dancing class. I know I stated this yesterday, but I am so excited. My girlfriend brought me in a few hip scarves to choose from and some of the jingly things (sorry don’t know the names). I am hoping to get a few pictures of some of my new moves (=

Well everyone, please enjoy your weekend!

Kicked the Funk & Found my Spunk!

2010-01-14T14:49:00.000-08:00

Helloooo! Sorry I didn’t post yesterday, I was under a dark cloud. It really started on Tuesday evening. I wasn’t feeling good to begin with on Tuesday, but I pushed through it and managed to smile. That evening for dinner I stayed under my calorie intake….. but moderation or let’s say lack of moderation is what happened. I went to lay in bed to watch American Idol and I started craving some Weight Watchers cheese spread with crackers that my husband just bought me….. well I ate a little more than a serving of that, got back into bed and then wanted my Kashi Pumpkin Spice bar (like right after the cheese/crackers)……… one bar demolished! I went over my calorie intake by 215. It’s not the fact that I went over my calories that bothered me. It was the nagging thoughts in my head that were reminding me what all was in my kitchen……. Seriously I felt like a tornado as I ransacked my kitchen for something that would hit the spot. I think what really bothered me was I hadn’t gone on a binge in 73 days……… that’s right 73 days I was able to resist that urge, so why was the other day any different?

Yesterday morning I woke up with my actions from the night before really heavy on my thoughts. Though I wanted to stay in bed, I got up and went straight to my gym (aka the garage). I put in a new workout tape that I had got from the Firm, I was able to keep up and follow for the first 20 minutes or so, but after the “weight intervals” were done and they started doing lunges in a format that reminded me of Country Line dancing………… I was DONE! I even got mad at myself for not sticking with it, but I just couldn’t focus on Miss Suzie Sunshine as she was bouncing around my screen. I didn’t go in the house right away….. instead I set on my spinning bike and barely pedaled (but I did at least move my legs) and watch the moves on the video.

After it was done I went in the house to prepare breakfast and pack my lunch. While I was doing this it hit me that for the past few days I have been “stuck “ in the house and I haven’t been outside to do my daily walk/run. So the thinker I am, wanted to know why do my workouts seem to go better when I am on a walk or when I run and not when I am in the comfort of my own home. And that is when it hit me folks……….. it’s when I am in my comfort place that it’s easier for me to quit. If I am standing up trying to follow a video it’s so easy just to sit out a section or only do part and turn the whole thing off.

It’s a whole other story when I leave the house, let’s say my walks for example. If I am out for a walk and am half way out there, and then all of a sudden get tired or where I want to quit…… it’s not all that easy, cause I still have to get back home. Trust me I will not be the girl laying on your lawn being propped up by your yard gnome.

I will keep pushing until I get home, and by then I feel great cause I wanted to give up way earlier, and still made it. So yesterday was a scratch….. but today was a whole other day!

I got up at 4:15 this morning and rode my spinning bike for 80 minutes, I took the dogs for a 1 mile brisk walk and came back and did 150 crunches (I will lose my kangaroo pouch one way or another). Once I was done I came in the kitchen to fix my healthy breakfast. When my hubby came in he put his arms around me and asked if I had a fight with the water hose. I laughed and was like, “baby it’s called sweat”…. He jumped back and told me I was gross. We got a good chuckle out of it! As weird as it may sound or un-lady like………… I like to get my SWEAT ON!!! It’s proof that I worked it!!!

So this evening I will take my dogs for a longer walk and tomorrow I will push it again! Oh, by the way I cannot wait for Saturday, I am taking a belly dancing class….. I think my hubby is excited about me taking this class too!

Well everyone have a great night, and if for some reason you don’t just let it roll off your back…… cause tomorrow is Friday!!!!!

I Need a Sports Bra for My Baby Bump/Lump

2010-01-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

Okay so I may be exaggerating a little bit but…. really will it ever go away?!?!?!? My son is 17 months old, and it is still just hanging out. I know it’s going to take time and some really hard work, but I got a little discouraged. In the past few months I am seeing some really positive changes….. mostly in my head (=

My face is getting thinner, my thighs are too, I’m even losing some of that junk in the trunk…..but I still have the whole entire nursery hanging out. What added to the feeling was this morning, I didn’t wake up as perky as I usually do. I went to work out this morning and while doing a workout DVD…. The damn bump moved (hence why I was joking about wanting a sports bra for it). So after I was done with my DVD I really targeted my lower abs. It does make me happy that I am really starting to feel those muscles again. Hooray!!! Since the birth of my son I have had a really hard time targeting that area, and as weird as this may sound I like doing crunches. I just have to stick with it......"hey bump.... your going down!!!!"

Okay so on a different note I wanted to give a little shout out to Miss Corletta! Her post this morning was very up beat and positive.... Just what I needed to get my day going! So in her honor have a TERRIFIC Tuesday........ Live well everyone!

Some Quality “Me” time

2010-01-11T12:24:00.000-08:00

Yeah it’s Monday, another week to get after it! Trust me I am not always like this about Mondays. I just thought since I am trying to change my mind set on a lot of things in my life, that should include Mondays too. I mean what’s not to love….. you get a fresh start, and you are one day closer to another weekend!

Speaking of the weekend. I had another successful weekend. I stayed under my calorie target and I got some really good exercise in. I did have a moment that I wanted to be weak. You see we have some family staying with us at the moment and my husband went and picked up two pizzas…(Now mind you I didn’t eat any the other night, I had other meal plans). …….. I can resist sweets all day, but bread, pizza, pasta, a full baked potato…… it can be hard. The other morning I got up and went for a 3 mile walk with the puppies and then got on my spinning bike for 45 minutes. When I came back into the house everyone else was still sleeping, but there it was 5 left over slices of pizza in the fridge. One of my favorite past breakfast choices. I swear your brain will convince you it’s okay. I mean I sat there looking at it saying well I hear it’s not good to deny yourself your craving, I just got done working out….. I deserve it. I slammed my fridge shut, you wanna know why? Because I did just work out and I know I deserve it and realizing that I’m not denying myself food……….. instead I’m gaining something better, I’m learning self control!!! I ended up having a bowl of Kashi Go lean (which is awesome, and I am not a cereal girl), and some fresh fruit. I felt so good that morning. Knowing that I made the right choice. As for the pizza I told my family to please eat it sometime today or it will be going out of the house through the trash can.

I don’t know about the rest of you guys but sometimes I really do not like rest day. I know why it’s important but for just starting to be really on the ball the past couple of months I dread the day I let my body rest. I guess somewhere in my mind it means be lazy and then undo all the positive that I been working towards. So for the days that I know I should take it easy I only do one little workout, something light. Like take a short walk with my friend at break, or do one of my 10 minute workout DVDs. This way I still feel accountable and I don’t risk injuring myself.

Another really positive thing I noticed this weekend was now that I am finding time to exercise daily, I have been so much happier. I have way more energy to keep up with my 17 month old, I am less moody, and NO headaches……….. it has been so sweet. I find myself during the day looking forward to my workout time, and last night it hit me….. while I’m really pushing myself in a workout I’m not thinking about the projects that I need to get done at work, not thinking about house chores, or having to keep a close eye on my son to make sure he isn’t trying to jam the DVD player with some sticky substance or thinking about what my husband may be up too, instead this is time just for me. I have learned that it’s okay to allow myself this time. It doesn’t make me a bad wife or a bad mother, if anything I think it has helped with my relationships because I feel so good, and I am not so stressed. I am able to give my attention in several areas and not feel so over whelmed. Ladies why do we do this? Why do we usually put ourselves on the back burner to make sure everyone else is taken care of? The only way that we are going to be able to keep up with our busy schedules is if we find that “me” time. It’s amazing to discover myself all over again, I’m not the child of James and Jeannette, or Bill’s wife or even Evan’s mother….. for these few hours a day I’m just me!

First I would like to Thank......

2010-01-11T07:49:00.000-08:00

Another week is here, and I am ready to conquer it! This morning I was happy to receive a nomination for a Beautiful Blogger Award from my pal Summer.

The rules are pretty simple. I have to list 7 random facts about myself and then tag 7 others that I feel deserve the award as well.

So here goes some random stuff you may or may not know about me!

(Following will be my 7 fabulous peeps)

-I have two brothers that I absolutely adore! One is three years older than me, and the other is one year younger.

-I worked in a nursing home for awhile when I was going to college…. That’s right I wiped butts for a living!

- I love to sing………..mostly to my son Evan these days (=

- I have a tattoo…… sadly I have not seen it in two years. I promise old friend we will see each other again real soon.

- Though I do not have much of a sweet tooth, I really love to bake.

- I met my husband in the 6th grade and secretly had a crush on him.

- I am a Cancer survivor!!!!!

I would like to pass the love on to the following people:
Olivia
The Curvaceous Conundrum
Katie J
Meg
Melissa
Natalia
Sheridan

Trust the Process

2010-01-08T08:04:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday!!!!! Man, I am so excited to have this week down. Well just a little update on my progress, last night I had to prep all of my animal babies for the cold night so I brought Elliot in (Mr. rabbit), and I put some new blankets in the crates for the boys. I felt so bad when I got home because the puppies really wanted to go for a walk which has been a big part of our routine lately. Since the weather is so yucky outside I really played them hard in the garage, I tossed their toys and rubbed their bellies..... they were happy once more. Once I got them all settled I got on my spinning bike for thirty minutes and then I did the 10 minute intro for the Firms Wave.

This morning at 4:30 I was sooo excited to do the thirty minute workout on the Wave. Not sure how many of you have tried it, but I really enjoyed my workout this morning. I really felt it in my lower body. After completing the workout I jumped on my spinning bike (I love my bike!). I ate two Kashi Blueberry waffles at 170 calories, plus I had a nectarine. So far this morning I am off to a great start.

Yesterday my girlfriend Olivia sent me a message stating that she can really tell from the picture I posted yesterday that I am starting lose, and that I should show a picture from my son's party that was taken 5 months ago. I looked at the pictures and agreed, but you know what the first thing I thought? Maybe the newer picture was taken at another angle that just makes me look thinner. I didn't let these thought gets the best of me, instead I decided to take another picture this morning, and guess what the same results. I started at the beginning of November on this journey and in just a few short months I am starting see a real difference.

But I have to say the real difference that I am seeing is not the weight loss. It’s my attitude. I am starting to find the real Candice again. I have a new confidence, and self assurance that I haven’t had in so long. I am no longer doubting myself, and I know I am doing the right things. I just need to take it one goal at a time and know that I will get the results I want. The above pictures are such a motivation. If I can get this in a little over 2 months, what can I do within a year! It really is all about learning to trust the process. So for anyone out there who is thinking your results aren't noticeable, do the same. Take a picture of yourself and compare it to one a few months back. If you have been working towards it, you won’t be sorry.
Oh, also I want to give a big shout out to my best girl Olivia who had a huge loss this week! Keep it up girl. We are going to be B3s (Bombed Body Beauties) before you know it. (sorry had to abbreviate for the pg crowd).

Well hope everyone has a great weekend!

My Running Sidekick

2010-01-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

Good morning to everyone…. Hope you all are staying warm and dry. I feel pretty Great this morning. I had a really good day yesterday. My calorie total was just shy of 1600. I was able to get in a really good workout in the morning, and I went for my daily walk on my break at work. When I go home it felt so good outside (it really warmed up). So I put my baby in his stroller and we had a really good time. First we just walked a little, and visited with all the neighbors that were out walking their pooches. Once we walked a mile and half I started to lightly jog with the stroller…… Evan loved it. Anytime I started to slow down he started fussing, that kid really pushed me last night. It was so fun to hear him laughing and giggling it made it more like play time than exercising. It made me really wish we had a stroller that was made for running. Bill and I had looked at a few this weekend, they are pretty cool!

This morning when I woke up I fed and played with the pups, but it was raining a bit so we didn’t go for our walk. Instead they laid on either side of my spinning bike while I really pushed myself this morning. I did a 45 minute workout . That has been the best I have done on a spinning bike without going to a class. I don’t know about you all, but in the past when I would get on my exercise equipment there were so many times that I really didn’t push myself. When I would go to a class, that would be a whole different story (guess my pride wouldn’t let me slack). Lately though it’s been so different. I really enjoy pushing myself and seeing what all I have accomplished. It’s crazy how we let our minds control us and tell us what we can’t do. I was speaking to a friend the other day, and I mentioned that I am walking a lot and starting to run. I asked her if she would like to join me and she emailed me back that she didn’t think she could walk better yet run. I knew exactly how she felt because I have been there. I thought because of all of my medical issues and weight that I wouldn’t be able to do a lot of things…… but that is crap. Trust me people do not lie to yourself or put limitations on what you can do. How will you know unless you try. I’m not saying that running, spinning, and the other things that I am trying is easy….. but I’m doing them. Guess what every time I do them, they get easier….. and I feel better. The more I exercise the fewer headaches I get…… hmmm….. imagine that for second. Imagine the pain that you normally feel in your body gets less, is that not enough? I know for me that is a HUGE plus. I challenge everyone today to think of one thing that they feel that they can’t accomplish and just try it. It’s okay if you think you can’t finish, just Start it!!!! Have a great day!

I conquered the beasts!!!

2010-01-06T08:36:00.000-08:00

Look at these faces. ……Trust me looks are deceiving, they only look sweet and innocent. What we have here are two 13 month old that love a good game of tug of war….. there opponent, me! They are getting much better and in the past week I have seen a great improvement with their loose leash walking. About a month ago my best bud Olivia came over in the morning and she would walk one, and I walked the other. Now I am able to walk both at the same time. Though the first 5-10 minutes I still get one hell of an upper body workout trying to get them to walk at my side and not pull. Though I have really enjoyed their company.
For the past week and half I have been walking with either my puppies or my sweet little Evan (the days that aren’t too cold). I am walking twice a day from anywhere from 3-5 miles at a time.

I have really enjoyed getting up early and getting on the pavement before the world wakes up. I don’t have to worry about a bunch of cars passing me, or other dog walkers….. just me and the boys. Yesterday morning was just a great morning. I got up at 4:15 and walked both dogs for about 2 miles. I brought one back and ran with the other one for 1.5 miles without stopping!!!! I was so happy. I know it may not seem far to some, but for me accomplishing just 1.5 took me farther than you realize. It helped me prove to myself, that I am getting there and I WILL do this.

For some who have been reading my blog will know I have mentioned that the past few years have not been easy for me phyicaly or mentally. In 2005 I was diagnosed with brain cancer and went through the past few years of chemo, radiation and so many steroids. When I first got diagnosed with cancer I was on the thick side, but never really over weight. I know that my first priority was to beat cancer, but I started letting it beat me emotionally. There was a time that I thought I would not live another five months. I got depressed and soooo tired. It was hard on what decisions I needed to make, and not to make. I remember when I experienced my first weight gain from the amount of steroids I was on, it was the same time that my hair started falling out. I was single at the time, and I remember thinking who would want me now? I was so blessed that God put my now husband Bill in my life. I know that was not an easy decision for him to get in a committed relationship with someone who he thought he could lose in a blink of an eye. I know that we all know that one day it will happen, but trust me when facing something like this it really puts it in perspective. During this time Bill was so encouraging and loving. Even bald and all of my different flava wigs………… I felt beautiful. My weight continued to fluctuate during this time. I also noticed that being in Love caused me to want to eat…. I guess that whole, “I got a man so I can eat all I want, not shave my legs and rock my bald head”. In October of 2007 we had a small beach ceremony, it was so perfect! I can’t remember ever being happier. I remember my older brothering telling us (he was the preacher man) that he knew Bill had loved me cause he saw past all of my physical problems. No matter what I look like, I have been beautiful to him. Two months after being married I shocked my doctors….. the impossible happened. I got pregnant, and the cancer was put in remission. On August 9, 2008 our beautiful baby boy was born. We named him Evan (which means a gracious gift from God, and little warrior…… both are so true). After my pregnancy I started having problems again but all of the treatments seemed to drastic, with little hope. I know that I have been healed, and will live a long life. I use wisdom but I have learned not to always believe the doctors report. I know that I have struggled with feeling like I have no control of my situation. In some cases I didn’t have control, but why not take it back. That’s how I felt when I first got sick, and my hair started falling out….. I just shaved that sucker!!!!

That’s what I am doing now. Little by little I am cutting all the things that have had control over my emotions for that past couple of years. I am regaining the control over my life!

What a Start

2010-01-05T15:51:00.000-08:00

Hello to everyone out there in Blog Land. Hope you all enjoyed bringing in the New Year!

On New Year’s eve we stayed in but we had a really nice visit with my grandma. Bill grilled and we had plenty of yummy veggies. I tried adding maple syrup on the roasted brussel sprouts instead of EVO…… yum, yum. At 11 p.m. Bill and I were ready to call it a new year and go to bed.

On New Year’s day we slept in till about 7: 30 a.m. Since my grandma stayed the night, when we got up we were able to take a walk together with the dogs. Bill had to work the whole weekend helping some friends, so we were glad to get some quality time together. At one point I had asked Bill if I could walk Woodrow on a separate path from him and Brutice. I wanted some alone time so I could get my thoughts in order. Woodrow and I got into a really good pace in no time. While I was walking I was thinking about all the New Year resolutions that I have been hearing (and reading). See in the past I never really took the whole thing serious. Mostly because I didn’t want to make an effort, and what if I failed? At that moment a scripture came to me. Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing that he who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”. Wow…. This applied to so much in my life. No matter where I have failed God has never, and he is not giving up on me. Why should I? I just need to set aside the weight of my negative thinking to get to my full potential!!!!

At this moment when all this connected I felt like a load had been removed. I looked at the pavement and knew I was on the right path. I told Mr. Woodrow he was going to get one hell of a workout. I started to lightly jog. I kept jogging for about 90 seconds at a time, then I would go back to a brisk walk. Before I knew it I had made it to the end of the street. At that time a slender lady that I see from time to time either running or walking her dog started toward Woodrow and I. The pride in me would not let me go back to a walk. I kept thinking if we could just pass her, and then I would be around the corner she wouldn’t see me walking again. I really don’t know why this mattered to me, but it did. When we started to pass she greeted me and said “hey how are ya, I have seen you out walking before. Have you started running too?”……my reply….. “um, yeah like 10 minutes ago”. At this point she introduced herself as Wendy and made friends with Woodrow. She then asked if she could join me…….yikes. So off we went and were on a stride a lot faster than I was doing a minute ago. Woodrow started pulling, my nose started running, and then I forgot about my breathing….. crap! So I told her to continue and that I needed to go back to walking. Let me tell you guys it felt like my exercise Angel had been sent. She was just as happy to go at my speed. She told me that she has been running since ’93 and tries to run 6-10 miles every day. This made me feel much better. I mean that’s like expecting someone to come work at my job and be at my level on their first day….. not going to happen. Maybe if anyone else would tell me that they are at this fitness level that I would have been intimidated, but she didn’t. She helped me focus on my breathing and finding the right stride. When I needed to walk, we walked. When I started to run she encouraged me. Overall we walked 3 miles and ran close to a mile. During our walking we were talking away. During our conversation I made a crack about myself (damn… start the 21 day calendar over) she jumped on me instantly. She then told me “You can’t do that anymore. You can come out here and run all you want but if you don’t change your mind you will just continue to limit yourself”. She then asked me if I thought I deserved more than feeling that way. Damn right I deserve more. Risking the chance of sounding like an old L’oreal commercial, “I’m worth it”.

Once our walk was over I came home and I was speaking with my family. I told them that I was going to do this. That I am so tired of being depressed and tired of not being able see past my size to value my own worth.

In 2010, I will be a better example to my son, I want my husband and I to teach him about living a healthy lifestyle. I think about memories with my different family members and they are surrounded by events or activities that we had done together. A lot of these bonding experiences were with food as the center of attention. Not saying that the bowl of ice cream I had with my grandparents at a local malt Shoppe is the route of my problems, but when I need comfort don’t I tend to want some Blue Bell? I want Evan to think back to his childhood and think about the walks we have taken, us shooting hoops, and having long conversation when snaking on veggies. There is no reason that I can’t provide that for him.

It all rolls down to one thing for me in 2010….. I, Candice Daniel will not be the same person. I will continue everyday to Keep my head up and my eyes focused. I will not look back, just move forward!!!!

A little Extra Somethin for Ya!

2009-12-31T13:22:00.000-08:00

I already posted for today but I got so excited I had to add a lil note.
I was talking with one of my buddies and I just blurted out that I love my eye color and that I think I have pretty eyes! I, Candice Daniel said something positive about myself...... yipee. The next 20 days wont be as hard as I thought... j/k, but it will get easier. (see below if confused)

Have a great weekend everyone and a safe New Year!!!

I do NOT like working out while others are watching me from the couch!

2009-12-31T11:32:00.000-08:00

I had one of those days yesterday. I had the energy and enthusiasm to work out, but didn’t feel like I accomplished much from it. I was stuck at work in a ghost town, most everyone else is still on vacation. It’s been pretty slow so the time drags….. I keep fighting the urge not to goof off so I’m trying to work on projects that I usually don’t have time for. My best buddy Olivia and I try to take a break at least once a day and walk around our work’s pond. Yesterday we were both pretty pumped to get some exercise in and not just sit in front of a computer so we went twice…… even in the cold rain. When I got home I was still wanting to do something so I went for a short walk but it was getting dark so fast, plus it looked like it was going to rain again so it was pretty short. After dinner I thought I would do my 30 day challenge on the EA Active. My grandma, my husband Bill, and my lil Evan was all in the living room. Now I don’t mind my grandma or my son in the living room when I’m working out but I really can’t stand when my husband is in the room. I love the man, but when he is critiquing my form from the couch it’s really hard to fight the urge to throw something at him. I was doing fine with the game till I was doing lunges with knee lifts. I can do side lunges fine but not the ones where you go straight down with your knee to the floor and then up with the same knee. I had lost my balance and I had to put my hand down….. my hubby sipping on his Coke was like “babe you are cheating, that’s not how you do it”. So my loving response was…..” really, oh I didn’t know. I thought it was normal to feel like your knee cap is splitting in two. Let’s see how well you do, oh and can you put on an extra 85 lbs and see how it feels”. I got upset quit the game and went straight to my spinning bike. “I’ll show him, I’m getting my work out tonight”….. literally five minutes later….”Urgh… I’m not into this”…. I get off my bike and cleaned the kitchen. While cleaning the kitchen my husband sneaks behind me and tells me he loves me and that he wasn’t trying to be mean. I know he wasn’t. I just get so self conscious and sensitive. I know when I move it’s not always graceful and I know it’s important to do the movement as accurate as possible. So last night my hubby said he wouldn’t just sit and watch me exercise anymore that he would join me and help if I need it. It made me feel better. So once we kissed and made up I went back to my spinning bike and did about a 45 minute routine. I felt much better afterwards!
Yesterday I had posted my new goal to do for 21days straight. A short recap: Positive words about myself. For the next 21 days I will not make a crack about my weight or anything negative about myself. Well folks it’s going to be harder than I thought…. I broke the goal twice yesterday. I cracked two jokes about myself….. I can do this, right? Of course I can. In addition to not saying anything negative I am going to list either an improvement from my healthier lifestyle or a physical or character trait that I like about myself.
Day 2: I am noticing that I have a lot more energy and a stronger desire to get in shape. For everyday that I keep up with this journey I am more excited about where it’s going to take me! I am really greatful for that.

I got my butt kicked by a video game!

2009-12-30T10:33:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, hope you all made it through the “season of food temptation”! I am happy to report that I stayed on point. I didn’t over eat and I stayed to my plan. I don’t feel that I missed a thing, if anything I’m pretty proud. I know my body will thank me later for it.

Well, Santa came to visit….. I guess I was a good girl this year. Bill and I decided not to do too much for each other this year since money has been a little tight. We had fun spoiling are little one and the rest of the kids in the family, but Bill…… I mean Santa decided to buy something that I needed. He got me a new pair of running shoes, since that is where my new adventure is taking me. He also got me the EA active game for the Wii. Let me just say for the record I feel so embarrassed that I was sore for two days after just playing one day. I have read on other’s blogs how fun this game is, and yes this is true; however, I realized that in the past few months I have not focused on working my lower regions of my body. After completing the first day of the 30 day challenge my thighs were killing me. I now see I have been avoiding squats and lunges for a reason. I’m not sure if I can write this is a way that would be funny to those of you reading this but my husband got a kick out of it.

I did the first day of the challenge on the EA active game on Christmas morning, later that day I could feel it. The next morning I wake up to go to the restroom and sit on the toilet…. (Little side note we have an old house with very old windows in the bathroom. The kind that just have a screen and glass slates, basically keeps rain out but not the cold air) I get completely woken up because I feel like I just sat my bare bottom down on a sheet of ice, so naturally my body tries to escape. I try stand up but it feels like my legs have been broken. The cry that I let out wakes my poor husband so he comes running to my rescue, to find me hovering over the iceberg and not really able to straighten my legs. After doing stretches for most of the day I was able to work out the stiffness that I was feeling, and the past few days I have enjoyed playing the game for an extra workout…. But for those who are like me and are just getting into the whole workout thing, be warned it may be a video game but you can feel it!

As for my 21 day goal that I had set about increasing my water intake just call me Candy the Camel because I reached that goal. I am drinking at least 8 -8oz glasses of water a day, and for the most part that is all I am drinking. So with this goal down and now a habit, it times to pick another goal to achieve or to work on for 21 days. I thought about this goal long and hard and decided for this goal I am not so much as going to pick a goal that I will achieve by doing something physical but something I need to achieve for me emotionally. So for the next 21 days I will work on not saying anything negative about myself. Wow that sounds so easy, but it going to be the hardest yet. I have gotten in such a bad “habit” of doubting myself and just dragging myself down with my own words. The majority of my life I was always the skinny girl. For the most part through school I was always skinner than my friends and when I moved to Pa. for college, I was thick but never really fat. I remember having family members tells me that I was too skinny and that I needed to gain weight….. well boy did I. So now when I talk to people I always crack a joke or make some kind of comment about my size. I guess it’s my way of beating people to the punch. I even catch myself doing this with my husband, who has NEVER, EVER said anything about my weight. He sees me through a different pair of eyes. So for the next 21 days I want to do the same. I will NOT put myself down and make comments about my size. I will NOT doubt my ability to get back into shape. Instead I am going to recognize all of the positive things that I am doing and all the positive changes that I am now seeing. I will list one thing for everyday that I am seeing either improved or that I like about myself. This can be either a physical feature or a character trait.

To start the list, for Day 1:

I am noticing that my complexion and skin has more of a glow and appears healthier (it’s probably a result from all that water that I have been drinking). I included a pic from today that I took with my cell phone. See……. peaches and cream (=

Candice the Red Nose Mommy

2009-12-23T10:33:00.000-08:00

So in preparation for the coming Holiday I have my shopping complete, my tree up and I myself look like I can star in a Christmas story about a famous reindeer. I can’t believe I got sick again!!! My poor baby boy is sick too. We are both starting to feel better, but I have to be honest I really can’t ever remember being so tired. I manage to get at least 8hours of rest a night, but that doesn’t seem to be enough. So needless to say I am not really looking forward to doing our normal run around to everyone’s house on Christmas day tradition. Though I know it will be fine. I do enjoy getting to see everyone, and it’s really rewarding to see how much my family loves my son Evan. Which, what’s not to love… that boy knows how to capture hearts!
Bill and I our pretty excited to have Christmas morning this year. We are going to start our own family tradition with having a home cooked (healthy, but good) breakfast. We usually eat breakfast separately and usually something simple, like cereal. Now I just have to decide on what we will make. Once we have breakfast we will let Evan open his gifts…… I cannot wait. He is 16 months and he is going to love playing with the wrapping paper (=
The past few weeks I have been so ill with very little energy, but I really want to work out again. I can’t wait to get over this bug and get my work-out on. I feel really inspired today. I was checking out a few blogs and I ran across one of someone who at one time was a little bigger than I am, that now looks fabulous. Truly, absolutely beautiful and is enjoying an active lifestyle. When I saw this blog I thought to myself, why not me. And that my friends is exactly what I am going on, why not me. If others can do this so can I. I have so much in my life to motivate me and I know that one day someone will be looking at my before and after pictures for inspiration!!!!

Well everyone have a wonderful Christmas and Live well!

Mother Freaking Nature

2009-12-18T09:54:00.000-08:00

WARNING: This Blog entry is not for those who usually yell “TMI” when people speak to them about personal information………… read at your own risk (=
If you are continuing reading, well bless you cause I need to vent to someone! I had a good start to my week despite the fact that the temperature outside keeps dropping and we have seen nothing but rain. It’s rained enough, that our back yard is starting look like Shriek’s swamp. The puppies love it! Every day this week I have had to clean them up when they come back in from their potty breaks. I feel bad cause I have not walked them much this week, it’s just nasty outside….
So I am feeling like a bad puppy parent and haven’t been able to go outside to exercise, so I thought I would just workout this week in our garage that we have set up with our exercise equipment….. WRONG. I worked out a little earlier this week, but started feeling like I was coming down with something again….. well I came down with something alright (for those who missed the warning note above I will try to modify the details a bit). My aunt flow came to visit and man she is a bitch this time. I haven’t seen her in awhile but she has so politely brought cramps, bloating and the need to snack on something salty & sweet. I typically do not crave sweets, and usually during this interruption I usually don’t get a lot of symptoms……..but not anymore. Lately when I get this visit, I also get severe stomach problems and usually spend most of my day having diarrhea…. Wow what fun that is, if the huge landing strip of a pad in my underpants doesn’t irritate me, my ass starts to feel raw from having to go several times a day. So as you can imagine the thought of getting on my spinnig bike, not to appealing. To add to injury, I think my husband is now on my cycle. I don’t care what people say my husband has PMS too…. Matter of fact he started first this week. He is so moody and grumpy, and chocolate doesn’t fix him!
I haven’t reached my own personal goals for working out this week, but I have still been pretty good on my calorie intake. The only moment I had was went I went to the store I passed the sale they for “Flipz” Chocolate covered pretzels. They are 10 bags for $10. NO, I did not but all ten bags… just 3. My husband wanted both the chocolate and white fudge…. I just wanted plain old chocolate….. like I said earlier, Salty & Sweet!!!!!! But if you noticed I wanted my own bag. Now before I start getting lectures, I didn’t eat the whole bag, and I still managed to stay under my calorie intake for the day….. I just felt guilty because it was my first moment in 60 days that I wanted to just tear some food up!
I know next week is another week, and this one will be past me soon. A friend sent me this quote this week, “ The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.” -- Chinese Proverb
Even the ancients knew things take time. Take care and Live Well!!!!

It's been awhile

2009-12-16T10:54:00.000-08:00

I have not had a chance to write about my progress, but thought I would give a little update. Things are still going on track and I am starting to notice a few positive changes. For the most part I have stayed under my target calorie intake and have been doing moderate exercise. For the past week and a half I have walked my sweet boys, Brutice and Woodrow. It’s getting much easier, it doesn’t feel like they are walking me as much…. Well as long as they don’t see any critters we are good!

The one thing that I am really proud about is that I have managed to keep going. No matter if one night I may eat something not on my meal plan, I’m not letting it sabotage my whole routine for just one meal. Before I would get so frustrated with myself if I couldn’t resist one craving and then the next day all the bad habits started all over again. I was left feeling hopeless and like a lost cause. I finally realized it doesn’t have to be that way. I know I can change my habits and lifestyle and will reap the benefits from it, so I am all about it. No more excuses or letting others let me down. This is something for me . So speaking of all about me………… I am so excited to report that I am officially down one pant size! One pair of pants that I have are so large now, nothing on my natural body will hold them up. Matter of fact I had lost them as I was walking across the parking lot at my job….. one embarrassing moment that I can laugh about! It is so nice to finally see a bit of a physical result. It just feeds me the reassurance that I am on my way. I think I am finally at peace with knowing it will take time, but once I’m where I want to be I know I will continue to take the time to stay that way.

Now it's not a success story overy night. I am struggling with a few areas still. For one, water. I am not allowing myself anything else, but I am just not a big drinker of any kind. I may have a drink with each meal, but not always. I have tried having a jug of water at my desk and keep a cup on my desk and fill it up first thing, but I’m lucky if I finish that. I am over the water is not exciting enough for me bit, it’s just I don’t get thirsty….. (wow wish that was my problem with food. Could you imagine having a fresh baked loaf of bread sitting on your desk all day, and never touch it cause you never get hungry). I wanted to go 21 days with drinking 8 glasses of 8 oz of water a day. To start I think I may need to set my alarm to remind me to drink a glass. I know that may seem drastic, but I think that might work for me. Who knows unless I try it, right?

The other thing I want to incorporate is the intensity of my workouts. I am gradually getting stronger and more energy, so I have been increasing the workouts a bit. Once I reach my goal for my water, I will up my workout routine by a few notches.

Well folks have a great day and thanks for reading!

21 Days

2009-12-08T08:14:00.000-08:00

Well I have decided today to keep up with my goal of changing something and keeping it up for 21 days. I was able to make my first goal of exercising every day and staying under a 1700 calorie diet for 21 days. So I was thinking why not add something else to the mix.
I have been a little bummed that I have been unable to exercise for a week, but I am ready to get back on it. So in addition to exercising and staying under a 1700 calorie diet I am going to drink eight 8oz glasses of water a day. I have had a hard time with drinking enough water throughout my day. Now with working out I see how important it is, so let the chugging begin!
Overall I have had a good morning so far. My girl Olivia came over this morning and helped me walk my horses, I mean puppies. I say puppies, but they recently had their first birthday. For anyone that knows about Rhodesian Ridgebacks they are the perfect dog to have if you want to live an active lifestyle and have a good walking companion. Boy it feels like they are taking me for a walk at first, but they did good today.

Starting to feel a little better

2009-12-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

Sorry I haven't posted anything in awhile, I have been sick for days. My cough is starting to sound normal and not like a seal barking. My energy level is still pretty low and will be a while till I can really get my workout on. I didn't bother wearing my Body Bugg since I stayed in bed for four days straight, butI did stay under my calorie intake. I was a little bummed on Monday that the scale had not moved, but next week is another week. So I plan on as soon as I kick this mess jumping back into it.

So as corney as this may sound, I can visualized myself being a healthier me. I know I have had several people in my life praying with me to beat this fight with cancer and other problems that have held me back for the past few years. I know I can do all things and will do all things. I may never get back to the double zero days, but thats fine with me. My hubby likes the junk in my trunk. I just want to feel good about myself and have the energy to keep active. So my goal for the next thirty years of life, I will continue on this path to fight for my health and for my self-esteem. This time when I reach it I will appreciate it!

Need a pick me up!

2009-11-25T06:55:00.000-08:00

I am currently 19 days in. I was so excited that I was almost at 21 days. That is one of my short term goals is to make it for that long. I had heard sometime back that anything you do for 21 days straight forms a habit. The last two days I have done some moderate walking but not what has becomed my daily workout routine. I guess I was feeling guilty. I am still on track with reaching my deficit for each day, I just don't feel very well. This morning I have been struggling with having a headache and fighting having seizures. I know when my body tells me these things I need to listen, but I felt so discouraged. I'm still on track for reaching 21 days, and though today burning calories will not be my ultimate goal I will still be mindful of what I consume. I also will remind myself that I am not a lost cause.

Psst.... Happy Birthday Olivia

2009-11-23T08:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday to my favorite girl, Miss Olivia. Hope you have a great day sweetie.

P.S. Let Rex eat your Birthday Cake

Survived another weekend

2009-11-23T07:53:00.000-08:00

Okay folks, so as you can see I didn't get a chance to post my Boddy Bugg Chart for Friday and the weekend but I did very well. My Deficit for Thursday was 1961, Friday was 2229, Saturday was 1727. I was able to fight off temptaion for the weekend for the most part. Saturday night I wanted pizza so my family and I went out and I did very well. I ate a salad first (to help fill me up) and then I had a few very small slices. As soon as we got home I did another workout to make up for it. Looking at my charts for the weekend, I can sure tell I have a little one at home. There is a little bit of activity all day (=
Well I hope you all have a Happy Monday!

Still Feeling Pumped

2009-11-19T07:47:00.001-08:00

This morning I got up and got such an amazing workout. As you can tell from the "B.B" results from yesterday I burned my needed calories, but I didn't get a chance to have much activity. So I woke up pretty early this moring and went straight for my gym (aka.... the garage). Today I decided to do ten minute intervals on my spinning bike and then on my stepper. I really got my heart pumping. I am alos going to take a few breaks from my desk today and walk around the pond. It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day, so why not enjoy it a little. Another thing that I have been doing is parking my car at the end of the parking lot so that way I have a little bit more of a hike to get to my desk (=

I feel pretty positive right now. I feel good that I am getting up every day and getting a good workout and that I am eating right. I know it's paying off in some ways since I haven't had a headache in 12 days. (For those who know me well, know how awesome that is).

The only other thing that I really want to get in the habit of doing is geting more water. At the moment that is all I have been drinking, but I am still not drinking enough. Any suggestions or tips on how to get that water intake?

11 Days In

2009-11-18T07:20:00.000-08:00

Good Morning! So far I am having a great day. This week my buddy Mr. So gave me his Body Bugg (thanks Harry!) and yesterday was my first day to use it. It is really cool how is calculates the calories that you intake and the calories you burn. According to the plan I will need to burn 2700 calories a day and consume 1700 calories (which is a little off from my 1200 calorie plan that I started), with a target deficit of 1000. This should allow me to lose around 2lbs a week, and come September 26, 2010 I will weigh 135.25 lbs. It is soooo do able! I was once there, I can get there again!!!!!!

The Cupboards have been Cleaned

2009-11-17T09:59:00.000-08:00

In our house we have two pantries, one is where we keep the canned goods and box stuff. The other is where we keep the cereal, chips, and for the most part snack like items. I had asked my husband the other day if we could get rid of some of it because he forgets about it and I don’t want something that could possibly get me off course. My husband doesn’t always take immediate action when conversation like this arises so the stuff stayed.
Well last night I hear this very unfamiliar sound in our house around 10 p.m. At first I thought maybe the baby was awake, but Bill went into his room and he was asleep and the noise had stopped. He got back to bed and the noise started. Bill tried to convince me that it was coming from outside. We had our first cold front last night so he though it could be the breeze hitting something outside. So I tossed a little, had a deep sigh and tried to get comfy again, but this time I hear a door shut within the house. So I am elbowing my husband, the investigator to go do his job (= For several minutes of him looking in the house, turning on lights, checking outside……. Nothing.
We finally fall asleep and this morning I woke up a little later than usual. I still managed to get a pretty good workout and played with the puppies a bit. As I was planning my lunch for the day and preparing breakfast, I got into the snack pantry that also houses our paper towels and trash can. What do I find? Yep you guessed it, we had a visitor last night. From the size of the droppings a pretty large size one at that. He managed to bust open the shelf that had the flour, sugar. Dumped all of the cereal boxes and had a pretty good time doing so from the look of things. It also managed to get into any of the chips, cookies and rice cakes snacks. The only thing it didn’t go for was my can of almonds and oatmeal. So I had a great excuse to get rid of all of the junk food in the house, just wish it didn’t have to take some kind of rodent to poop in my house to do so!

One Weekend Down

2009-11-16T10:55:00.000-08:00

Well it's another Monday and I am feeling so great! This weekend went very well. I was able to keep my routine and get up every morning to spin and walk the dogs. In addition I did not have one urge to cheat on my diet. (Even with fresh french fries from McDonalds in the car..... there was a moment that I wanted one, but I resisted the temptation). My husband, Bill had grilled some Salmon on Saturday night. It was my first time ever having it, it really turned out great. We are going to start incorporating more fish into our meal plans.

I'm going on ten days on the diet and I have to admit I am really enjoying my meals. I was worried I would get bored, but I think I becomed more bored with eating fast and not really ever feeling satisfied with the meals.

Also, Bill helped me get all set-up on our crossbow this weekend. I am really excited to be able to have a machine at home, that should help for the days I can't go to the gym.

I am also happy to report when I went to the doctors I was told that I weigh 225lbs..... whew, that made me so happy. I was able to confirm that on my home scale as well. Yipee!!!!!

2009-11-13T10:09:00.000-08:00

I am in my seventh day of eating under 1200 calories and working out. The most important for a working mom is finding the time to workout......... so I have decided to get up early, ealry,(Like, even before the chickens) early! Too be honest I have really enjoyed starting my day this way.

2009-11-13T09:56:00.000-08:00

This is my motivation or better said, this is my wake up call. This picture was taken at my son's first birthday party.