Monday, January 25, 2010

Waiting

So I know some of you are excited to hear about how my belly dancing class went last weekend, or if you’re not, I have been wanting to tell you all about it. I ended up going with my sister in law Amy and one of my good friends, Jana. It was really cool to experience something new with some buddies (that way I had someone to laugh with). The instructor was incredible, she was very patient with us all, but she made sure that we got the moves down before we went to the next. After 2.5 hours of working it out I was a little worried that the next day I would feel like I needed a hip replacement, but I felt it mostly in my abs and lower belly……….. Yippee! Most of you know I have been wanted to find a way to target that baby bump (hell, it’s a baby bolder….. but you know what I mean), so I was happy to find a way that was fun. I’m really hoping that they will offer more classes in this area.

Okay serious time:

I feel bad cause I have not made the time this past week to post anything. Last week was a difficult week for me. It started off great but by mid week I just was not in the spirit of things. I had a really bad headache and a bad episode of seizures. I haven’t really been sick like this in awhile. I ended up going to the emergency room and they were able to get things under control and I rested the next few days. My doctor changed my meds and at the moment I feel pretty good. The only thing that really bothered me was my blood work came back not so good. There is some kind of activity, so they ordered a few other test, including an MRI. So now we wait……………. I hate that part the most. That’s when fear tries to set in and says the cancer is back or wonder what now. I have to remember that this situation is in God’s hands and I know I am healed. I am so looking forward to the day that I don’t sit in a doctor’s office with a lump in my throat and my fist clinched to brace myself for whatever news I am going to be told. So this week I will find out what is going on. The doctors do feel from what test results have come back that I may have another tumor on my brain as well as my spine. So this week will be a week of prayer and I will try to stay calm...... it's so hard not to get worked up.

So no big shock I didn't have a very active week on the fitness level, but I did manage to go for some peaceful walks with my husband & the baby. I really enjoy when I have their company. I know my husband wanted me to rest, but he knows how important it is for me to be out there enjoying life. I don’t want just to sit by and wait.

Well peeps I promise I will post more this week, and get back in my routine. I got some really cute pics I want to share. Hope you are all having a great Monday!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Keeping positive even when running into a few locked doors!

So let me start by saying one simple little thing………………… IT’S FRIDAY, IT’S FRIDAY! (Insert cartwheel & black flip here!) So as you may can tell I am pretty excited that this week is over. Not that is was a bad week or anything, but um yeah, I like my weekends more!

Well to give you all the re-cap, I was a good girl again today. I woke up a little before my alarm clock went off, so that was set at 4 a.m. (My poor hubby, but I think he is adjusting). So once I woke up I hit the floor & man was I perky. Even annoyed myself a little with how excited I was to start the day (it’s just a symptom that IT’S FRIDAY….sorry couldn’t resist). I let the doggies out to handle their business, and then I jumped on my spinning bike. I don’t know what the rest of you do, but I’m finding when I workout on equipment, I do much better when I have my mp3 player (very loud) and have a movie on (though I can’t hear it). I tried doing both of those without the other… but I like the combo. Anyways I totally soaked my workout shirt. This morning I barely set on the bike. I either stood up the whole time or did jumps. I did this for a total of 40 minutes and then did 30 minutes of weight training with our Cross Bow and free weights.

During my stretch I heard my big boy Brutice barking……… crap I forgot about the
dogs being outside. When I went to let them in, Brutice was all by himself. Woodrow managed to climb over the fence and took off. So I ran through the garage door, running down the street in the rain looking for my other dog. It was around 5:30 a.m. in the morning, and though the neighbors we have met are nice I didn’t want to start yelling hysterically in the streets, but I got nervous every time a car past. I was so worried that someone would hit my sweet boy. I ran back in the house, at this point my hubby was coming in the garage…asking what was going on. He raised his voice a bit, he wasn’t mad at me or anything…. Just not the way he wanted to start his morning (he is not a morning person…. at ALL). I guess from his voice being so loud Woodrow came back in the house, right to me (my sweet protector).

So now that this dilemma was resolved I started to do my abs routine. Hubby came through the garage to say goodbye as he was leaving for work. I got done with my workout, went to go back in the house……

You guessed it, the door was locked! I didn’t panic too bad, because though my 17 month old is sleeping in his crib, my grandmother had spent the night with us. She always likes sleeping on the couch so I went to the front door, and tried to lightly knock. Now I love my grandma….. no lie she has been my best friend every since I was a little girl, and though I love her very much the women is deaf! So 14 minutes go by, I tried knocking on the door, ringing the door bell, knocking on the window, going back to the kitchen door and knocking on it…………. Nothing. By this time some of my neighbors were leaving for work and let’s just say I felt like an idiot with my head rested on my own door begging it to open, soaking wet from the rain in some thin workout clothes….. I tried one more time, and Finally she came to my rescue. She was in the restroom, so bless her heart this whole time she was wondering what the heck the noise was. (For the record the baby slept through the whole ordeal).

Now work today…….Urgh……..non-stop! Let’s just say knowing that IT’S FRIDAY, got me through it! So though today had a few hiccups I kept a positive attitude. In the past if some small drama started that early in the morning it would derail the whole day, but not today!

Not sure what all I’m doing this weekend. The only thing I have planned for sure is the belly dancing class. I know I stated this yesterday, but I am so excited. My girlfriend brought me in a few hip scarves to choose from and some of the jingly things (sorry don’t know the names). I am hoping to get a few pictures of some of my new moves (=

Well everyone, please enjoy your weekend!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Kicked the Funk & Found my Spunk!

Helloooo! Sorry I didn’t post yesterday, I was under a dark cloud. It really started on Tuesday evening. I wasn’t feeling good to begin with on Tuesday, but I pushed through it and managed to smile. That evening for dinner I stayed under my calorie intake….. but moderation or let’s say lack of moderation is what happened. I went to lay in bed to watch American Idol and I started craving some Weight Watchers cheese spread with crackers that my husband just bought me….. well I ate a little more than a serving of that, got back into bed and then wanted my Kashi Pumpkin Spice bar (like right after the cheese/crackers)……… one bar demolished! I went over my calorie intake by 215. It’s not the fact that I went over my calories that bothered me. It was the nagging thoughts in my head that were reminding me what all was in my kitchen……. Seriously I felt like a tornado as I ransacked my kitchen for something that would hit the spot. I think what really bothered me was I hadn’t gone on a binge in 73 days……… that’s right 73 days I was able to resist that urge, so why was the other day any different?

Yesterday morning I woke up with my actions from the night before really heavy on my thoughts. Though I wanted to stay in bed, I got up and went straight to my gym (aka the garage). I put in a new workout tape that I had got from the Firm, I was able to keep up and follow for the first 20 minutes or so, but after the “weight intervals” were done and they started doing lunges in a format that reminded me of Country Line dancing………… I was DONE! I even got mad at myself for not sticking with it, but I just couldn’t focus on Miss Suzie Sunshine as she was bouncing around my screen. I didn’t go in the house right away….. instead I set on my spinning bike and barely pedaled (but I did at least move my legs) and watch the moves on the video.

After it was done I went in the house to prepare breakfast and pack my lunch. While I was doing this it hit me that for the past few days I have been “stuck “ in the house and I haven’t been outside to do my daily walk/run. So the thinker I am, wanted to know why do my workouts seem to go better when I am on a walk or when I run and not when I am in the comfort of my own home. And that is when it hit me folks……….. it’s when I am in my comfort place that it’s easier for me to quit. If I am standing up trying to follow a video it’s so easy just to sit out a section or only do part and turn the whole thing off.

It’s a whole other story when I leave the house, let’s say my walks for example. If I am out for a walk and am half way out there, and then all of a sudden get tired or where I want to quit…… it’s not all that easy, cause I still have to get back home. Trust me I will not be the girl laying on your lawn being propped up by your yard gnome.


I will keep pushing until I get home, and by then I feel great cause I wanted to give up way earlier, and still made it. So yesterday was a scratch….. but today was a whole other day!


I got up at 4:15 this morning and rode my spinning bike for 80 minutes, I took the dogs for a 1 mile brisk walk and came back and did 150 crunches (I will lose my kangaroo pouch one way or another). Once I was done I came in the kitchen to fix my healthy breakfast. When my hubby came in he put his arms around me and asked if I had a fight with the water hose. I laughed and was like, “baby it’s called sweat”…. He jumped back and told me I was gross. We got a good chuckle out of it! As weird as it may sound or un-lady like………… I like to get my SWEAT ON!!! It’s proof that I worked it!!!

So this evening I will take my dogs for a longer walk and tomorrow I will push it again! Oh, by the way I cannot wait for Saturday, I am taking a belly dancing class….. I think my hubby is excited about me taking this class too!


Well everyone have a great night, and if for some reason you don’t just let it roll off your back…… cause tomorrow is Friday!!!!!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I Need a Sports Bra for My Baby Bump/Lump

Okay so I may be exaggerating a little bit but…. really will it ever go away?!?!?!? My son is 17 months old, and it is still just hanging out. I know it’s going to take time and some really hard work, but I got a little discouraged. In the past few months I am seeing some really positive changes….. mostly in my head (=

My face is getting thinner, my thighs are too, I’m even losing some of that junk in the trunk…..but I still have the whole entire nursery hanging out. What added to the feeling was this morning, I didn’t wake up as perky as I usually do. I went to work out this morning and while doing a workout DVD…. The damn bump moved (hence why I was joking about wanting a sports bra for it). So after I was done with my DVD I really targeted my lower abs. It does make me happy that I am really starting to feel those muscles again. Hooray!!! Since the birth of my son I have had a really hard time targeting that area, and as weird as this may sound I like doing crunches. I just have to stick with it......"hey bump.... your going down!!!!"

Okay so on a different note I wanted to give a little shout out to Miss
Corletta! Her post this morning was very up beat and positive.... Just what I needed to get my day going! So in her honor have a TERRIFIC Tuesday........ Live well everyone!

Monday, January 11, 2010

Some Quality “Me” time

Yeah it’s Monday, another week to get after it! Trust me I am not always like this about Mondays. I just thought since I am trying to change my mind set on a lot of things in my life, that should include Mondays too. I mean what’s not to love….. you get a fresh start, and you are one day closer to another weekend!

Speaking of the weekend. I had another successful weekend. I stayed under my calorie target and I got some really good exercise in. I did have a moment that I wanted to be weak. You see we have some family staying with us at the moment and my husband went and picked up two pizzas…(Now mind you I didn’t eat any the other night, I had other meal plans). …….. I can resist sweets all day, but bread, pizza, pasta, a full baked potato…… it can be hard. The other morning I got up and went for a 3 mile walk with the puppies and then got on my spinning bike for 45 minutes. When I came back into the house everyone else was still sleeping, but there it was 5 left over slices of pizza in the fridge. One of my favorite past breakfast choices. I swear your brain will convince you it’s okay. I mean I sat there looking at it saying well I hear it’s not good to deny yourself your craving, I just got done working out….. I deserve it. I slammed my fridge shut, you wanna know why? Because I did just work out and I know I deserve it and realizing that I’m not denying myself food……….. instead I’m gaining something better, I’m learning self control!!! I ended up having a bowl of Kashi Go lean (which is awesome, and I am not a cereal girl), and some fresh fruit. I felt so good that morning. Knowing that I made the right choice. As for the pizza I told my family to please eat it sometime today or it will be going out of the house through the trash can.

I don’t know about the rest of you guys but sometimes I really do not like rest day. I know why it’s important but for just starting to be really on the ball the past couple of months I dread the day I let my body rest. I guess somewhere in my mind it means be lazy and then undo all the positive that I been working towards. So for the days that I know I should take it easy I only do one little workout, something light. Like take a short walk with my friend at break, or do one of my 10 minute workout DVDs. This way I still feel accountable and I don’t risk injuring myself.

Another really positive thing I noticed this weekend was now that I am finding time to exercise daily, I have been so much happier. I have way more energy to keep up with my 17 month old, I am less moody, and NO headaches……….. it has been so sweet. I find myself during the day looking forward to my workout time, and last night it hit me….. while I’m really pushing myself in a workout I’m not thinking about the projects that I need to get done at work, not thinking about house chores, or having to keep a close eye on my son to make sure he isn’t trying to jam the DVD player with some sticky substance or thinking about what my husband may be up too, instead this is time just for me. I have learned that it’s okay to allow myself this time. It doesn’t make me a bad wife or a bad mother, if anything I think it has helped with my relationships because I feel so good, and I am not so stressed. I am able to give my attention in several areas and not feel so over whelmed. Ladies why do we do this? Why do we usually put ourselves on the back burner to make sure everyone else is taken care of? The only way that we are going to be able to keep up with our busy schedules is if we find that “me” time. It’s amazing to discover myself all over again, I’m not the child of James and Jeannette, or Bill’s wife or even Evan’s mother….. for these few hours a day I’m just me!

First I would like to Thank......

Another week is here, and I am ready to conquer it! This morning I was happy to receive a nomination for a Beautiful Blogger Award from my pal Summer.

The rules are pretty simple. I have to list 7 random facts about myself and then tag 7 others that I feel deserve the award as well.

So here goes some random stuff you may or may not know about me!
(Following will be my 7 fabulous peeps)

-I have two brothers that I absolutely adore! One is three years older than me, and the other is one year younger.

-I worked in a nursing home for awhile when I was going to college…. That’s right I wiped butts for a living!

- I love to sing………..mostly to my son Evan these days (=

- I have a tattoo…… sadly I have not seen it in two years. I promise old friend we will see each other again real soon.
- Though I do not have much of a sweet tooth, I really love to bake.

- I met my husband in the 6th grade and secretly had a crush on him.
- I am a Cancer survivor!!!!!

I would like to pass the love on to the following people:
Olivia
The Curvaceous Conundrum
Katie J
Meg
Melissa
Natalia
Sheridan

Friday, January 8, 2010

Trust the Process

Happy Friday!!!!! Man, I am so excited to have this week down. Well just a little update on my progress, last night I had to prep all of my animal babies for the cold night so I brought Elliot in (Mr. rabbit), and I put some new blankets in the crates for the boys. I felt so bad when I got home because the puppies really wanted to go for a walk which has been a big part of our routine lately. Since the weather is so yucky outside I really played them hard in the garage, I tossed their toys and rubbed their bellies..... they were happy once more. Once I got them all settled I got on my spinning bike for thirty minutes and then I did the 10 minute intro for the Firms Wave.

This morning at 4:30 I was sooo excited to do the thirty minute workout on the Wave. Not sure how many of you have tried it, but I really enjoyed my workout this morning. I really felt it in my lower body. After completing the workout I jumped on my spinning bike (I love my bike!). I ate two Kashi Blueberry waffles at 170 calories, plus I had a nectarine. So far this morning I am off to a great start.

Yesterday my girlfriend Olivia sent me a message stating that she can really tell from the picture I posted yesterday that I am starting lose, and that I should show a picture from my son's party that was taken 5 months ago. I looked at the pictures and agreed, but you know what the first thing I thought? Maybe the newer picture was taken at another angle that just makes me look thinner. I didn't let these thought gets the best of me, instead I decided to take another picture this morning, and guess what the same results. I started at the beginning of November on this journey and in just a few short months I am starting see a real difference.

But I have to say the real difference that I am seeing is not the weight loss. It’s my attitude. I am starting to find the real Candice again. I have a new confidence, and self assurance that I haven’t had in so long. I am no longer doubting myself, and I know I am doing the right things. I just need to take it one goal at a time and know that I will get the results I want. The above pictures are such a motivation. If I can get this in a little over 2 months, what can I do within a year! It really is all about learning to trust the process. So for anyone out there who is thinking your results aren't noticeable, do the same. Take a picture of yourself and compare it to one a few months back. If you have been working towards it, you won’t be sorry.
Oh, also I want to give a big shout out to my best girl Olivia who had a huge loss this week! Keep it up girl. We are going to be B3s (Bombed Body Beauties) before you know it. (sorry had to abbreviate for the pg crowd).

Well hope everyone has a great weekend!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

My Running Sidekick

Good morning to everyone…. Hope you all are staying warm and dry. I feel pretty Great this morning. I had a really good day yesterday. My calorie total was just shy of 1600. I was able to get in a really good workout in the morning, and I went for my daily walk on my break at work. When I go home it felt so good outside (it really warmed up). So I put my baby in his stroller and we had a really good time. First we just walked a little, and visited with all the neighbors that were out walking their pooches. Once we walked a mile and half I started to lightly jog with the stroller…… Evan loved it. Anytime I started to slow down he started fussing, that kid really pushed me last night. It was so fun to hear him laughing and giggling it made it more like play time than exercising. It made me really wish we had a stroller that was made for running. Bill and I had looked at a few this weekend, they are pretty cool!

This morning when I woke up I fed and played with the pups, but it was raining a bit so we didn’t go for our walk. Instead they laid on either side of my spinning bike while I really pushed myself this morning. I did a 45 minute workout . That has been the best I have done on a spinning bike without going to a class. I don’t know about you all, but in the past when I would get on my exercise equipment there were so many times that I really didn’t push myself. When I would go to a class, that would be a whole different story (guess my pride wouldn’t let me slack). Lately though it’s been so different. I really enjoy pushing myself and seeing what all I have accomplished. It’s crazy how we let our minds control us and tell us what we can’t do. I was speaking to a friend the other day, and I mentioned that I am walking a lot and starting to run. I asked her if she would like to join me and she emailed me back that she didn’t think she could walk better yet run. I knew exactly how she felt because I have been there. I thought because of all of my medical issues and weight that I wouldn’t be able to do a lot of things…… but that is crap. Trust me people do not lie to yourself or put limitations on what you can do. How will you know unless you try. I’m not saying that running, spinning, and the other things that I am trying is easy….. but I’m doing them. Guess what every time I do them, they get easier….. and I feel better. The more I exercise the fewer headaches I get…… hmmm….. imagine that for second. Imagine the pain that you normally feel in your body gets less, is that not enough? I know for me that is a HUGE plus. I challenge everyone today to think of one thing that they feel that they can’t accomplish and just try it. It’s okay if you think you can’t finish, just Start it!!!! Have a great day!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I conquered the beasts!!!

Look at these faces. ……Trust me looks are deceiving, they only look sweet and innocent. What we have here are two 13 month old that love a good game of tug of war….. there opponent, me! They are getting much better and in the past week I have seen a great improvement with their loose leash walking. About a month ago my best bud Olivia came over in the morning and she would walk one, and I walked the other. Now I am able to walk both at the same time. Though the first 5-10 minutes I still get one hell of an upper body workout trying to get them to walk at my side and not pull. Though I have really enjoyed their company.
For the past week and half I have been walking with either my puppies or my sweet little Evan (the days that aren’t too cold). I am walking twice a day from anywhere from 3-5 miles at a time.

I have really enjoyed getting up early and getting on the pavement before the world wakes up. I don’t have to worry about a bunch of cars passing me, or other dog walkers….. just me and the boys. Yesterday morning was just a great morning. I got up at 4:15 and walked both dogs for about 2 miles. I brought one back and ran with the other one for 1.5 miles without stopping!!!! I was so happy. I know it may not seem far to some, but for me accomplishing just 1.5 took me farther than you realize. It helped me prove to myself, that I am getting there and I WILL do this.

For some who have been reading my blog will know I have mentioned that the past few years have not been easy for me phyicaly or mentally. In 2005 I was diagnosed with brain cancer and went through the past few years of chemo, radiation and so many steroids. When I first got diagnosed with cancer I was on the thick side, but never really over weight. I know that my first priority was to beat cancer, but I started letting it beat me emotionally. There was a time that I thought I would not live another five months. I got depressed and soooo tired. It was hard on what decisions I needed to make, and not to make. I remember when I experienced my first weight gain from the amount of steroids I was on, it was the same time that my hair started falling out. I was single at the time, and I remember thinking who would want me now? I was so blessed that God put my now husband Bill in my life. I know that was not an easy decision for him to get in a committed relationship with someone who he thought he could lose in a blink of an eye. I know that we all know that one day it will happen, but trust me when facing something like this it really puts it in perspective. During this time Bill was so encouraging and loving. Even bald and all of my different flava wigs………… I felt beautiful. My weight continued to fluctuate during this time. I also noticed that being in Love caused me to want to eat…. I guess that whole, “I got a man so I can eat all I want, not shave my legs and rock my bald head”. In October of 2007 we had a small beach ceremony, it was so perfect! I can’t remember ever being happier. I remember my older brothering telling us (he was the preacher man) that he knew Bill had loved me cause he saw past all of my physical problems. No matter what I look like, I have been beautiful to him. Two months after being married I shocked my doctors….. the impossible happened. I got pregnant, and the cancer was put in remission. On August 9, 2008 our beautiful baby boy was born. We named him Evan (which means a gracious gift from God, and little warrior…… both are so true). After my pregnancy I started having problems again but all of the treatments seemed to drastic, with little hope. I know that I have been healed, and will live a long life. I use wisdom but I have learned not to always believe the doctors report. I know that I have struggled with feeling like I have no control of my situation. In some cases I didn’t have control, but why not take it back. That’s how I felt when I first got sick, and my hair started falling out….. I just shaved that sucker!!!!
That’s what I am doing now. Little by little I am cutting all the things that have had control over my emotions for that past couple of years. I am regaining the control over my life!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

What a Start

Hello to everyone out there in Blog Land. Hope you all enjoyed bringing in the New Year!

On New Year’s eve we stayed in but we had a really nice visit with my grandma. Bill grilled and we had plenty of yummy veggies. I tried adding maple syrup on the roasted brussel sprouts instead of EVO…… yum, yum. At 11 p.m. Bill and I were ready to call it a new year and go to bed.

On New Year’s day we slept in till about 7: 30 a.m. Since my grandma stayed the night, when we got up we were able to take a walk together with the dogs. Bill had to work the whole weekend helping some friends, so we were glad to get some quality time together. At one point I had asked Bill if I could walk Woodrow on a separate path from him and Brutice. I wanted some alone time so I could get my thoughts in order. Woodrow and I got into a really good pace in no time. While I was walking I was thinking about all the New Year resolutions that I have been hearing (and reading). See in the past I never really took the whole thing serious. Mostly because I didn’t want to make an effort, and what if I failed? At that moment a scripture came to me. Philippians 1:6 “Being confident of this very thing that he who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”. Wow…. This applied to so much in my life. No matter where I have failed God has never, and he is not giving up on me. Why should I? I just need to set aside the weight of my negative thinking to get to my full potential!!!!

At this moment when all this connected I felt like a load had been removed. I looked at the pavement and knew I was on the right path. I told Mr. Woodrow he was going to get one hell of a workout. I started to lightly jog. I kept jogging for about 90 seconds at a time, then I would go back to a brisk walk. Before I knew it I had made it to the end of the street. At that time a slender lady that I see from time to time either running or walking her dog started toward Woodrow and I. The pride in me would not let me go back to a walk. I kept thinking if we could just pass her, and then I would be around the corner she wouldn’t see me walking again. I really don’t know why this mattered to me, but it did. When we started to pass she greeted me and said “hey how are ya, I have seen you out walking before. Have you started running too?”……my reply….. “um, yeah like 10 minutes ago”. At this point she introduced herself as Wendy and made friends with Woodrow. She then asked if she could join me…….yikes. So off we went and were on a stride a lot faster than I was doing a minute ago. Woodrow started pulling, my nose started running, and then I forgot about my breathing….. crap! So I told her to continue and that I needed to go back to walking. Let me tell you guys it felt like my exercise Angel had been sent. She was just as happy to go at my speed. She told me that she has been running since ’93 and tries to run 6-10 miles every day. This made me feel much better. I mean that’s like expecting someone to come work at my job and be at my level on their first day….. not going to happen. Maybe if anyone else would tell me that they are at this fitness level that I would have been intimidated, but she didn’t. She helped me focus on my breathing and finding the right stride. When I needed to walk, we walked. When I started to run she encouraged me. Overall we walked 3 miles and ran close to a mile. During our walking we were talking away. During our conversation I made a crack about myself (damn… start the 21 day calendar over) she jumped on me instantly. She then told me “You can’t do that anymore. You can come out here and run all you want but if you don’t change your mind you will just continue to limit yourself”. She then asked me if I thought I deserved more than feeling that way. Damn right I deserve more. Risking the chance of sounding like an old L’oreal commercial, “I’m worth it”.

Once our walk was over I came home and I was speaking with my family. I told them that I was going to do this. That I am so tired of being depressed and tired of not being able see past my size to value my own worth.

In 2010, I will be a better example to my son, I want my husband and I to teach him about living a healthy lifestyle. I think about memories with my different family members and they are surrounded by events or activities that we had done together. A lot of these bonding experiences were with food as the center of attention. Not saying that the bowl of ice cream I had with my grandparents at a local malt Shoppe is the route of my problems, but when I need comfort don’t I tend to want some Blue Bell? I want Evan to think back to his childhood and think about the walks we have taken, us shooting hoops, and having long conversation when snaking on veggies. There is no reason that I can’t provide that for him.

It all rolls down to one thing for me in 2010….. I, Candice Daniel will not be the same person. I will continue everyday to Keep my head up and my eyes focused. I will not look back, just move forward!!!!